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Thursday, December 31, 2009

the end of an era...

Do you all remember when your parents would ask you the most annoying question on the face of the planet? Yes, I am speaking of the despised "If your friends all jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" question. Whenever, I was asked that I typically said yes. Which is why I am going to join everyone in blogging about this past year. Also, I am sick and had to cancel plans to stay home so I have nothing better to do with my time.

My 2009 in review:
{1.} Even though the presidential election was won in November, Barack Obama's inauguration was in January. I supported Obama politically and was so amazed and touched on the day of his win and his inauguration. It was the beginning of something new. It was an end of what I considered to be eight years of bad choices. I sat in front of my television and sobbed because I was given hope that maybe someday we will live in a world where racism no longer exists.

{2.} I made real friends with my brother Jon-than's girlfriend Bastina Balicious (real name Christina). They have been dating for over two years I believe but, it took us a bit to warm up to each other. However, I adore her. She has helped my brother become a more responsible man and a better person. She is most definitely good enough for him, maybe even too good! Bastina, I am glad that we are friends. Thank you for all you do for our family, whether it be playing with Bug endlessly, talking books for hours with me, or forcing Jon-than to spend time with his family! I especially appreciated your kindness during us all trying to deal with my Dad's passing. If you had not come up to hug me and rub my back at the burial I would have lost it. Thank you. I am glad we are real friends now and hopefully you will be a part of my family sometime soon. Love ya lady!

{3.} I took a semester to venture out into other majors because I began to doubt that I wanted to be a therapist. Yes, it put me back a semester but it also showed me that my passion lies in the field of psychology.

{4.} I discovered my own personal crack. Yes, I am speaking of the love affair that I have developed for Sprinkles Cupcakes. Yes, they may cost over $40 bones for a dozen...but they are worth every freaking penny!

{5.} Bff Jil's younger sister passed away. It was and is heartbreaking to watch her and her family go through that kind of pain. It showed me how lucky I am to call her a friend and an honorary member of The 'H' Family. It also made me realize how much I admire her for being the strong willed spitfire that she is. She says I am the tough one...but she is equally if not more stoic than I. Jily I love you big time and think of you as family. Jacob is lucky to be able to call you Aunt Honey. Let's both just be glad that 2009 is finally over. Here is to another year of laughs, tears, and love in our fake-lesbian relationship. You are the best!
{6.} I joined a gym! Even though I have sucked it up lately due to school being crazy but, I will go back to being more diligent about attending. Yoga, The Challenge, and the elliptical prepare to be conquered. Bff Jil, please hold me accountable on this one! We were SO good about always going! Let's do this!

{7.} I developed a hardcore fangirl worship of 'The Twilight Saga'. Yes, I was late to that game. I am now in love with Edward freaking Cullen and the hotness that is Robert Pattinson...le swoon.

{8.} I stood up for what I believed in many, many, MANY, times this past year. I have strong opinions. If one does not agree that is fine and I will respect it as long as that same respect is reciprocated. I protested a few times and it was amazing. It made me feel powerful, united, and proud that I stood my ground and made sure my voice was heard. I live by the philosophy, "You have the right NOT to remain silent." Amen to that.

{9.} I lost my Dad in 2009. It has been almost two months since he passed away. I miss him. I miss arguing over politics with him. I miss arguing about religion with him. I miss him driving me crazy 99% of the time. However, I am happy he had a good long life and that we are all there with him the night he passed. Even though he was basically in a coma, I still like to think that when my brothers and myself told him it was okay to go, that he heard us. I think the loss of him has made me appreciate my family even more. I love them all and am so happy they are in my life.

{10.} This one is for you guys! In August of 2009 is when this here blog began. It started as a joke...something to fill my time over Summer break. It has turned into one of my favorite things to do. Srsly. I write or contribute to about four blogs now! It is taking over my life. I have met AMAZING people through this little blog universe. Many who I actually consider my friends. Someday I promise I will meet ALL of you! Cross country road trip? Holla!

So thank you lovely readers and friends of my blog! Here's to another year full of blog land fun!
Peace out 2009!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

always alexandria's official hottness monster list: the nerd edition...

Why yes, it is that time again my dear friends. It is time to make a list of some serious hottness monsters. You all know the drill by now...however this list is strictly for the geeky hottness monsters. I <3>
Hottness Monster #1:Hello Mac Guy. You are adorable and totally foxy. Even though I am not a fan of Mac's I am a a huge fan of your face. Even though your eyebrows are a bit out of control for my own liking...your smile and adorkableness makes up for it.

Hottness Monster #2:

Sorry. I just hyperventilated just a bit staring at your face Simon Baker. I know you are a little too foxy to be placed in the 'nerd' category, but this is my blog and I do what I want. So the bow tie makes you a also makes me want to get all makey outey with you. Ahem.

Hottness Monster #3:

The credit for this choice does not belong to me. It belongs to Sam. He is my go-to when I need a female for my lists. Velma, you ruled the school in Scooby Doo. Not only are you a babe...but you were smart. However, I want to burn your outfit and give you a better haircut. Orange and red do NOT look cute

Hottness Monster #4:Jim from 'The Office' you are sex on fire my friend. I do know that your real name is John Krasinski but that fact holds no weight in my universe. You are Jim. Also, a white tee and blazer has never looked so foxy my friend...le sigh...

Hottness Monster #5:

Dear Amanda, I bow to your awesomeness and I ask complete forgiveness for openly mocking you when you suggested Kevin McHale for my list. I am sorry. He is adorkable and can sing his geeky little heart out. I love him bad. Love, Me.

Hottness Monster #6:

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you are a babe. I do not care what anyone stole my heart when I saw you in '10 Things I Hate About You' and I was obsessed with you. Your jaw is the hottness. Srsly. It is like jaw porn...

Hottness Monster #7:

Jayma Mays is all kinds of pretty! She is one of my favs on Glee...even though she is a little crazy. Also, I am envious of her killer retro style. Also, I would skin a puppy for her red hair. Amen.
Hottness Monster #8:Adam. Freaking. Brody. In my world known as The Seth Cohen. Hi, he is the ultimate it geeky hottness. He is awkward, hilar, and has that fabulous head of adorkable curls. He was the main reason I watched The OC...I love him bad. I may or may not have just spent over ten minutes staring at this not judge...

Hottness Monster #9:
Dear Mr. Schuster, you make me swoon like no ones 'bidness. I cannot even begin to explain how hard I crush over you singing 'Endless Love' on Glee. Let's just say you ALMOST took over the spot of my numero uno celeb crush...and then I regained my sanity and remembered this hot piece...

Hottness Monster #10:
Like I said. Rob shall be on every hottness monster list. Whether he fits the criteria or not. Fortunately for this list, he fits. If you have ever watched him in an interview you will know he is the ultimate in nerdy hottness. He is also the reason why Mr. Schuster will have to settle for my numero dos celeb crush...le sigh.

Okay. Do y'all agree? Disagree? Or are you wicked pissed that I left someone off the list? Share with me...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

cuteness explosion...

Here I am again with another vlog. Please, inform me when you all become sick of them because then I will quit. I am trying to perfect the art of vlogging...this time I was assisted by my niece. She is hilar and the cutest thing her with me.

*Yes, I am still an Internet Idiot. I don't know how to put a vlog on here. Click the link loves...*
*Update* My brother's girlfriend Bastina has started a blog. She is legit. Go and love her with me...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

i love christmas...

I failed in the picture department yesterday. Normally, I am a camera Nazi and I photograph everyone to death...not so much this year. Thankfully, I didn't fail too epically because I did manage to snap a few pictures of my lovely family. We kept things small this year, just my two brothers, my mom, my niece, and was nice. Here you have it, 'An 'H' Family Christmas'...I love Christmas trees. They smell fantastic...and they just look pretty. The presents are pretty awesome as well. I may or may not like them more than the tree...
Brother 1 and 2. Um...can you tell they are related? Yeah they were ignoring me shoving the camera in their faces...they were too busy watching, 'Big' (holla! best tom hanks move ever!)...
Best. Gift. Ever. Yeah do you all remember playing with paper dolls? They ruled. They also fell apart within like two hours of playing with them and then you had to tape their heads back on or dress them in an outfit that had a HUGE rip on it. Not anymore...these babies are made out of wood! And the clothes are magnets! Bug and I played with them for longer than I would like to admit...
Why yes, bff Jil DID get me a label maker for Christmas. As you can see I immediately put it to amazing use...I labeled everything. It was awesome...

Bug is a freaking cuteness explosion. I love that kid...she is such a daddy's girl it is insane...

This is MY chair. It was my Grandma's and it is the most comfortable thing in the world. Last week my mother sent it to have it rebuilt and is so different BUT I did get to pick the fabric so I am happy with it. I just need like 20 years to break it in..

Jon-than was trying to teach Bug how to play 'Hey Joe'...let's just say I do not think she will be musically inclined. He also bought a new amp...let's just say it was wicked loud in the house ALL day long...

Someone needs to school my mother in how to fake a smile. She looks pissed...although this was after like 342 I suppose she was reasonably pissed...

My family wins at taking the most awkward photos ever. Srsly. If there were a competition we would win the gold medal...don't believe me? Check out these holiday bloopers...

Really? What the freak? That is the most unattractive face in the history of faces...we are legit...

His faces pretty much are awesome...

I believe I have about 9,346 copies of this exact picture...different days the exact same outcome...

There you have it! Christmas is over...sad....but now I am going to go and play with all my new toys. I shall make many, many labels today...

What was YOUR favorite part of Christmas of '09? Do share...

Friday, December 25, 2009

merry christmas...

So, I was a little bored and made another Vlog...because I am determined to alter my Vlog awkwardness. My gift to caught on video...being weird...again!

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope your day is fabulous!
*bahaha just a short little quick one for you...say it with me folks...twss!
*also every single time I try to put a video on jacks up my please click the link. I apologize for being an internet idiot.*

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

interview with ms. jacki...

Since I pretty much live on Twitter...I have made some pretty amazing pals via the interwebs. One of those pals happens to be the most legit seventeen year old on the planet. Yes, my friends I am talking about Ms. Jacki C (no I will not tell you her last name because she is a minor and does NOT need stalkers...don't worry Jacki I got your back). While talking to Jacki I asked why she doesn't have a blog, because she should, I told her she could guest post on mine...she then proceeded to tell me to interview her. Um...okay. So I busted out my Christiane Amanpour interview skills and did so. I must give credit to Internet Bff's Lauren, Ashton, and Sam for their help with the questions.

I now present to you my interview with everyones favorite jail bait Jacki C...
Um yes...she is totally gorgeous.

Lesson #1: Spanish is hard...

Alexandria: Whats up Jail Bait?
Jacki: holaaa como esta?
Alexandria: Muy bien, y tu?
Jacki: i dont know any more spanish
Alexandria: Um...good me either.

Lesson #2: All of the cool kids are Team Edward...

Alexandria: Alright, so we better make this thing good! Did you bring your thinking cap?
Jacki: it's pretty much permanent
Alexandria: Of course it is...Alright let's do this...Face Punch style!
Jacki: hiiiya
Alexandria: What movie is that reference to?
Jacki: i don't know? probably a movie from before my time. circa 1992
Alexandria: Already getting smart with me, huh? Um.. it's New are 12 you should know that!
Jacki: seen it once. i just haven't had the time to go back
Alexandria: Ok...first question have you read The Twilight Sage? If so Team Edward or Jacob? And by Sage I mean Saga. Obvi.
Jacki: i am embarrassed to say that i have read all the books nine times
Alexandria: For serious?
Jacki: and totes team edward
Alexandria: I have read them seven. We are legit.
Jacki: fo shizzle
Alexandria: Why Team Edward? I need reasons..
Jacki: one, because he SPARKLES, and he totally sounds like an awesome kisser. and he smells amazing. mmmm edward
Alexandria: He totes sparkles like a princesses!

Lesson #3: Boys, boys, boys...

Alexandria: Amazing kisser? That brings me to a Lauren many boys have you locked lips with?
Jacki: ahhh i counted this the other day in physics class! good thing i am prepared..... 18. it makes me sound slutty but i am so not
Jacki: well i am kind of a party animal
Alexandria: Obviously.
Jacki: i am not ashamed. not at all
Alexandria: So is there a future Mr. Jacki C in the picture? (aka do you have a boyfriend?)
Jacki: NO! i actually have never had a serious boyfriend. i like to just keep things casual (aka i hate talking on the phone.)

Lesson #4: Jacki is young...and I am old...

Alexandria: Ashton wants to know what your favorite YouTube video is?
Jacki: is it sad that the first one that popped into my head was one with my dance team? haha
Alexandria: Um no. It just means you are a narcissist which is cool.
Jacki: but really, i love me some 'Jackie and Debra'. me and my friend Jarid must have acted that video out everyday sophomore year
Alexandria: I have no idea what that means.
Jacki: you have never seen Jackie and Debra?
Alexandria: Uh no. I am old remember.
Alexandria: Lauren wanted to know if you had your Mommy's permission to watch 'True Blood' being that it IS for mature audiences.
Jacki: i didn't get her permission as much as say that my older sister watches it and so therefore i should be able to. and she was the one that dragged me to see that sicknast movie Bruno. i was scarred for life. my mom, that is
Alexandria: Speaking of your parents um..what can we say to make them allow you to accompany us to the DL?
Jacki: my mom was like, 'oh, Disney? i love Florida, go ahead.' i was like 'LAND mom LAND'. automatic no.
Alexandria: Your mom is sort of lamespice then. We are all legit good influences.
Jacki: but yes, you can most def say that i have to teach you dance or something they let me do anything for dance.
Alexandria: Oh! Win! Tell them I need you to teach me how to shuffle ball change asap!
Jacki: i have an aunt in Portland. maybe i can go there and travel my way down
Alexandria: Epic. Ashton, Lauren, and myself were planning a get together where we could meet you. We decided you could be the DD how do you feel about that young one?
Jacki: lovely. i would be filled with joy!

Lesson #5: twss jokes and hash tags rule...

Alexandria: Okay so...everyone wanted to know your favorite twss ever.
Jacki: so i thought long and hard about this one. (TWSS god i am good) and i love in the office during Jan's suing when they say "so she was on top of you the entire time" and Michael mutters twss and then then say 'come again" and it is just great
Alexandria: That is all kinds of amazing. Your favorite hash tag too, while we are at it?
Jacki: not even a question #DIRRRTYMAGIC

Lesson #6: Siblings, stripping, college, and mathletes CAN all be mentioned in one conversation...

Alexandria: So Sam wants to know how many siblings you have? AND what you plan on doing with your dance skills? I said stripper..
Jacki: i have one sister. she is 20
Alexandria: Is she cooler than you?
Jacki: NO WAY. and dance? i want to be on a college dance team, and eventually be a dancer in the NBA
Alexandria: So...not a stripper? Blast! I owe Sam five bucks!
Alexandria: Everyone wanted to know what college you want to attend!
Jacki: well, next year i am taking the year and attending a small college in VT, but i plan on transferring to a bigger college. i want to go to the university of Cincinnati and be on their dance team
Alexandria: Where your major will be? Dance?
Jacki: no way! i wanted to do aeronautical propulsion engineering, but now i think i want to major in business and minor in dance
Alexandria: Win! So what is the best mathlete pickup line you have ever heard?
Jacki: wow. i have to think about this one. i once had a guy say, 'hey babe do you want to keep it real with me like i squared?' pretty much awesome
Alexandria: Did you make out with him?
Jacki: no way. he had a severe case of acne. but i did let him help me with my homework.
Alexandria: How nice of you. Also, you are reminding me of my 17 year old self.
Jacki: a trip back to yesteryear....
Alexandria: .....

Lesson #7: Jacki is a punk and will never live down telling us 24 year old gals that we have 'old skin'...

Alexandria: So, how old does one have to be to qualify in the 'old skin' group?
Jacki: omg. i was just saying that your theory was correct, and that as we get older, our skin loses elasticity and circulation and heals slower! and i guess at least 7 years older than me
Alexandria: haha! Lauren wants to know if you ever feel intimidated by the awesomeness of your slightly older, but still rocking Twitter friends?
Jacki: i wouldn't say intimidated, as much as honored that they talk to me
Alexandria: Stellar answer! It is only because you are the most legit 17 year old to ever exist.
Jacki: snaps to that.

Lesson #8: Celeb crushes, sticker books, and dance are all kinds of awesome...

Alexandria: So Busy Bee Lauren wants to know if you love Zac Efron more than she does? I think both of you are nuts because he looks like a 12 year old girl...
Jacki: i don't want to say MORE but i love to stare at his sticker on my steering wheel at red lights. and his BOD mmhmmm. and he can dance. and kinda sing aka lip sync. BBL really loves him, i just think he is a nice boy with nice abs.
and i dug through the doctors office sticker bin to get that sticker
Alexandria: just got knocked down a few pegs on my ladder of awesome. Just sayin'.
Jacki: hey, i love to get stickers! i bet you had a sticker book when you were younger!
Alexandria: Yeah when I was 7. So what is your favorite song to dance to? Jacki: that's kind of a broad topic, dance to. do you mean around my house, performance, hip hop, jazz
Alexandria: Around your house AND performance
Jacki: around my house- will smith "miami". i love big willie style. TWSS
Alexandria: Dude that is from my era! Awesome.
Jacki: and then my favorite dance song is the old Fame
Alexandria: REPRESENT! I love you for loving the legit Fame. Amen. Jacki: there is no other in my book.

Lesson #9: Jacki is a gangsta'...

Alexandria: So tell us all about your first smooch!
Jacki: oh god.
Alexandria: Getting to the good stuff...
Jacki: i spent one camp-fiery night playing spin the bottle at camp when i was 12. i had no idea that you could be choked by a tongue! and no way are any of those counting on my list! ugh. disgusting. but i thought i was so cool because i had kissed a boy before all my friends.
Alexandria: That is SO scandalous.
Jacki: pretty much an episode of gossip girl haha
Alexandria: All in a day's work. So how did you get to be so gangster? Like you handled Anonymous with some fury!
Jacki: no idea! i guess i am just good at yelling at people. i have developed this technique over years of captain yelling at the girls of dance team to shut up. they fight so much. I wish i could say that i grew up in the ghetto, but i had an amazing childhood.
Alexandria: You can still say you grew up in the ghetto. Just shank someone as you say it...they will believe. Which brings me to the next question. What is your biggest act of mean girlness?
Jacki: i guess when there was this boy that i talked to online that was in my class, but never talked to in school. we were definitely friends, but all my friends were mean to him and i never told them to stop. i felt so bad bc i thought he was an amazing guy. and now he is super smokin and is like an expert guitar player. i am never really DIRECTLY mean to any girls. me and my friends were so mean. we got better.
Alexandria: Good. So you are a recovering mean girl?
Jacki: YES. and i wish that i could take back all my past meanness.

Lesson #10: We are all kinds of random...

Alexandria: Who is your biggest inspiration?
Jacki: Sam Cohn. he was a really close friend of mine that died in November 2006. he was one of the most talented people ever and had the biggest and best smile. he really lived his life to the fullest, and i know everyone says that about dead people, but he really did
Alexandria: Aw I am sorry you lost someone so close to you.
Jacki: he has made me a better person!
Alexandria: As all who enter your life should! Ready for the final question?
Jacki: final? omg
Alexandria: Why omg?
Jacki: i still have so many random things about me
Alexandria: Anything you would like to share with the class?
Jacki: like the fact that i suffer from globophobia
Alexandria: What the hell is that?
Jacki: fear of balloons
Alexandria: you are odd.
Jacki: i will seriously vomit if one touches me. i have no idea why Alexandria: Really? You are a freak. That is hilarious.
Jacki: haha... have you ever been to a bday party? they make me sweat bullets. i just stare at all the balloons the entire time
Alexandria: Dude The DL would freak you out then!
Jacki: yeah but i can like walk by them and stuff, but the actual latex balloon rubbing against me creeps me out
Alexandria: So will you come to my wedding when I marry Sam?
Jacki: uuhhh duhhhh! of course! i will freakin walk there if i have to!
Alexandria: Awesome! You rule...maid of honor style.
Jacki: chicka yeah!
Alexandria: Okay final question...why the freak do you not have a blog?!?!
Jacki: i really have nothing to talk about! i feel like no one would read it! except maybe you, lauren and ashton haha. and what the eff would i name it? i feel like all blog titles use alliteration and J is the worst letter to use Alexandria:Jacki and all that Jazz. Just Jacki. Jacki Jail bait.
Jacki: haha that would be a definite no to that last one. i am sure i would draw in SO MANY CREEPERS
Alexandria: You should start a blog and give Ashton, Lauren and myself some youngness in our lives. So are you considering starting a blog?
Jacki:maybe. after i read this post. feel free to just take a pic from my facebook. an attractive one. NOT A NASTY TAGGED PIC OF ME
Alexandria: Oh I was planning on it. I was going to get the one of you doing the splits but I didn't want to be fined for child porn on my blog...
Jacki: haha that would not be good
Alexandria: Uh no. So any final words to anyone? Did you have fun? Do I rule? Am I your favorite?
Jacki: yes. yes. and yes. you can adopt me if you so wish
Alexandria: I totally do wish. I will send your parents the papers from my lawyers office.
Jacki: wonderful. i am sure they would love that
Alexandria: They would. Sweet. You are still the most legit 17 year old ever.
Jacki: sick
Alexandria: Awesome.
Jacki: adequate
Alexandria: are you harshing on my interview skills?
Jacki: i hope your anon commenter talks to me. no i just couldn't think of any other a words at the moment!
Alexandria: Me too. I love seeing you rail on anonymous.
Jacki: i will be like biiitch please. I'm a vermonta and i do what i want ta.
Alexandria: You my friend, are hilarious. True freaking story.
Jacki: True.
And that my friends, was Jacki. Tell her how much you love her in the comments section, also tell homegirl to start a blog!
Thanks Jacki! It was fun!

Sunday, December 20, 2009


I am running low on blog creativity right now. Seriously, I think that epic Vlog I made killed me...and used up a weeks worth of my awkward self. So I decided I would just share with you all some of the reasons of why I am I do not become a blog slacker and then just not post. So, here are some of the reasons I am currently happy...

Reason I am happy #1:
I am happy that my mom rules. She does. True story. She just purchased a Cricut (a scrap booking tool of awesomeness for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about). She was going to gift it to me for Christmas but then decided we would share it and it wasn't going to count as one of my gifts. Epic. Thanks Mom!

Reason I am happy #2:I was super bummed that I was going to miss the Christmas pageant that my niece was singing in with her preschool. I had to miss it due to a lame final. However, my mom and my brother came through for me and photographed and recorded her super star performance. Yes, the dress her mother picked out is heinous...and she is holding a picture of a hippopotamus (Why? Because she wants a hippopotamus for Christmas. Also, because she is awesome. Obvi.)

Reason I am happy #3:

I am listening to the soundtracks from Glee! Does this even need explanation? It does? Okay. Mr. Schuster singing, 'Endless Love'. 'Nuff said...

Reason I am happy #4:

I spent a large amount of my weekend hanging out with bff Jil. We had some serious absence issues due to me having to live in a cave and study for finals. So we reunited...and it feels sooo good! We gabbed, I schooled her in the art of twss jokes, she schooled me in the ways of operating an electric hand sander. It was good times...(Jil...why are we orange in this picture? I believe we tanned far too much this summer. Also, why are our teeth so freaking white? I didn't even mess with this one on Picnik. Weird.) So we cranked out a few of these bad boys...oh 'Scrappy Blocks' you are the cuteness (I would show you all the ones we actually made but they are top secret until after Christmas)...

Reason I am happy #5:We made a gingerbread house! My mom, Bug, and myself made this little lovely. She had a blast. Bug and I have a date later in the week to make cookies for Santa...we are legit.

Reason I am happy #6:

Two words folks, Oreo Balls. That is correct...I have never even heard of these balls of awesomeness (twss) until one of my Internet bff's blogged about them. Lauren from 'That's What She Said' made the lovelies shown in the above picture. Because she loves me she sent me the recipe and I shall be busting balls out all day tomorrow...(twss). Word to the wise, go and read Lauren's blog. She is full of awesome and #dirrrtymagic.

Reason I am happy #7:This is my desk. It was in complete disarray because of finals. It no longer looks like this. I OCD'd out on it and it is now spic and span my friends. Why yes, that IS a lava lamp. I am old school. Represent...

Reason I am happy #8:

No words are necessary. Except for swoon...

So, what are all of YOU happy about right now?


Thursday, December 17, 2009

i am awkward...

I have no idea why I did this. Too much time on my hands perhaps? I do know I am totally embarrassed but this thing is far too gifted by 'The Gods of Awkwardness' and I just have to share it with you all.

Yes...I am weird. I will give $2 bucks to the first person who counts the number of times that I say, "Um..." Sorry I cannot help it. It is the valley girl in me. Yes, I do know I mumble...a lot. It is nerve-racking to sit and stare at some weird light (which is why I watched myself on the screen the entire time; NO I wasn't reading anything!) while talking to I am not super self-conscious but doing this I was.

All I can please don't make fun of me to my face...and just love me through it y'all.
Also, I cannot figure out how to get the stupid video off of just click here for some epically embarrassing good times...
*All jokes told are in good fun! They are not meant to offend! I love me some LDS people...and these are inside chill anonymous commenter!

Monday, December 14, 2009

listen here...

So I started this blog in August basically out of boredom. I had nothing better to do until school was back in so I thought, 'Hey...write a blog and then you will become Internet famous like Lauren.' So this here blog was started...and I figured it would be around for like a week before I tired of it. No such luck. I freaking adore my blog, and I actually really enjoy posting on it most of the time...

Here is the deal my friends. I get anonymous comments from lamespice people (actually I am 99% sure the comments are coming from one person; the other 1% come from my friend Jen who refuses to make an account). There are certain fangirls who are taking me to task because of my 'off color humor' with my twitter friends. Would you all like to know what I have to say to THAT?!

Yep, all I have to say is that. Well, that and there are no more anonymous comments allowed at this blog!

Moving on...I need to mansplain something to you all.

In case you didn't know, my name is Alexandria and this is MY blog...
Sometimes I wear glasses. Glasses that I sorta needed to read...but not really. Glasses that I feel make me look smart, and to be honest I mean I am pretty darn smart. However, on this blog I say made up words, abuse punctuation, and pay proper grammar no mind. Also, sometimes I buy glasses just because they are Dolce & Gabbana...

Sometimes when I go out to celebrate Jil's birthday I get drunk. For some reason when I get highly intoxicated I close my eyes A LOT. In order to see straight one eye has to be open while the other is is ridiculous...but also hilarious...

Sometimes I make really bad fashion choices (granted this picture is from when I was 18). Notice the hair...the WAY too heavy eye makeup...the french manicure, that had an airbrushed heart on them, my date. I can however be grateful that I did not have on a bright orange dress like the lady behind us...

Sometimes I think this picture of my niece holding my Grandpa's (EMPTY) beer can is funny...and the other times I think it is freaking hilarious....

Sometimes I try things even though I know I am not going to like them...such as camping. Yes, I went camping with Jil and her fam (only overnight, in a trailer, on the beach) and it was not awesome. However, I smiled and tried to have fun and therefore I ended up having fun! Also, sometimes I love a hoodie and jeans and a face that has NO makeup on it...actually most of the time that is true...

Sometimes if I feel like I am having a stellar hair/face day I will document it via my camera (this was NOT a good hair was all about the face). Then when I get home and upload said photos onto my laptop...I realize that I wasn't having a 'hottness monster' day at all. I was having an 'If looks could kill I would light you on fire with my eyes' day...

Sometimes I love my best friend so much that I agreed to be her Maid of Honor at her wedding when we were 18, even though I strongly dislike weddings. But, I love her so I let her try to make my hair big and fabulous...just to make her happy...

Sometimes I say how much I dislike children and then I remember how much I love my niece. Srsly. This amazing 4 year old is my favorite person on this planet and I cannot even begin to express in words how much I love her. She is a brainwashed Democrat (or 'Democrack' as she says), she is beautiful, and wants to be a doctor...or the president when she grows up. She loves peace signs as well...

Sometimes I stand up for what I believe in...actually I always do that. I also respect that my beliefs are not in line with other peoples and that is okay. Sometimes I just have to do what I think is right, all while respecting what other people think is right, sometimes I am okay with that...sometimes I am not...

Sometimes...I make the. hottest. faces. ever. Jealous? Sometimes I make inappropriate jokes that are full of innuendo...sometimes I drink beer only from the bottle...sometimes I swear A LOT in real life, but for the sake of being a nice person AND respecting the people who read my blog I do NOT swear on here. Sometimes...I make TWSS jokes ALL day long. Sometimes the only person who actually calls me 'Alexandria' is my mom...or my older brothers when they are mad at me. Most of the time people call me Zander, Alex, Amie Amia, or Auntie Hammie. Sometimes I turn my head phones up really loud on my iPod while listening to musical soundtracks so I can sing and pretend that it is my ACTUAL voice. Sometimes...I make Vlog's (well I only made one) where I have no makeup on AND my hair isn't done...also I talk like a valley girl (no I am not linking to it because it is heinous).

There you have it folks...sometimes I do those things. But ALL of the time I am who am I. I do not apologize for it, because I am pretty darn happy with myself. If YOU do not like me...then please don't take the time to read my's cool.

To all of my lovely friends who have decided they do like me AND my blog, thank you! I heart you all something fierce!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

always alexandria's official hottness monsters: a retrospective...

I love me some hottness monsters. As do all of you. It occurred to me the other day that my appreciation for foxy celebs had to have started somewhere and then I remember the glory that was...JTT. Once again with the help of my blog/twitter pals a hottness monster list was compiled...enjoy this retrospective
(Jonathan Taylor Thomas...this post is dedicated to you)...

Alright folks...let's kick it old school...

Hottness Monster #1:
I figured that since Jonathan Taylor Thomas was the first boy I swooned over that he should be the first on my list. I remember buying 'Teen Beat' just to find pictures of him to tape to my walls. I watched 'Home Improvement' religiously and spent many hours wondering what it would be like to make out with the boy who did the voice of Simba in 'The Lion King'. Now that I am looking at this picture...I would still kinda like to smooch him...

Hottness Monster #2-for-the-price-of-one:
Zach Morris and A.C. Slater. Did y'all know that 'A.C' stood for Albert Clifford? True Story. These boys were the ish....every single of my Saturday mornings were made by these boys. Apparently I was into guys who had their chests waxed...

Hottnes Monster #3:
River Phoenix. The ultimate crush-worthy boy...brought to my attention by Lula (yes THAT Lula...don't be jealous). Phenomenal actor; was in one of the best movies ever holla! 'Stand By Me'. And that hair...I mean come. freaking. on.

Hottness Monster #4:

As you all know by now I always include a female hottness monster. This list actually has three. Topanga was my hero. I mean her hair was fabulous; she was so quirky; and I envied her boobage big time. Truth time...I still do...

Hottness Monster #5:Speaking of the stars of 'Boy Meets World' I now present. Shawn Hunter. Bad boy. Hot sex hair. Real name is Rider Strong. Are you kidding me? RIDE-HER STRONG...his entire name is a twss joke. For that I love him...

Hottness Monster #6:
Ricky Martin. I have no explanation. I loved him bad. I had a poster of him on my wall...I listened to 'She Bangs' over and over. I am appropriately ashamed. Do not judge me.

Hottness Monster #7:

You jump, I jump Jack. Leonardo DiCaprio was the ultimate foxy-boy-who-looks-feminine-that-we-all-love-during-tweendom. I went to see 'Titanic' twelve times in the movie theater. All because of Leonardo. I had a pet newt that I named Leo...I told everyone it was named after Da Vinci. That my friends, was a bold face lie...

Hottness Monster #8:No. The Olsen Twins do not get a 2-for-the-price-of-one title. Why? Well, because in my brain they are so tiny that they only equal one they look like one person. Therefore...they are listed as well, one person. I used to love 'Full House' and these ladies were a big part of it...however I asked for a male perspective and my Online Lovah gave it to me (that's what she said). He had the hots for the pre-anorexic Olsen days. So I said, "You got it dude!"...

Hottness Monster #9:

I had a lot of backup from my blog ladies on this hot piece. Devon Sawa...also known as 'Casper-The Friendly Ghost' also known as the most consuming of my tween-crushes. Come stroll with me down memory lane. Let me set the scene: it was 1995 and I was ten, my big brother Jon-than took me to go and see 'Casper'. I loved Christina Ricci because people told me I looked like her...I loved the entire movie...I loved when Casper got to be real and walk down that loooong staircase to dance with Kat. Then the kiss. He kissed Kat. I felt like since we look similar it was just like he was kissing me...yeah like I said I was 10, logic wasn't a big part of my life. After this encounter I came home and researched Devon Sawa. I found out he lived in Canada. I totally busted out the ol' '411' to Canada trying to find Devon's digits...needless to say I was not successful. Yes, it is perfectly okay for all of you to be 2nd-hand-embarrassed by this information...

Hottness Monster #10:

Like I said many times before, Rob shall always be featured on my lists because he is the ultimate hottness monster. Also, I just wanted to show you all that my taste in men has greatly evolved since the JTT years. I had something really witty to write about him but then I spent 5 entire minutes staring at this picture and lost my train of thought. But, I suppose the gist is...Rob I love you bad...

I know I didn't get all of your suggestions into this post. Maybe I will do another one like this someday...or YOU could just leave me your two cents in the comments section!