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Saturday, December 12, 2009

always alexandria's official hottness monsters: a retrospective...

I love me some hottness monsters. As do all of you. It occurred to me the other day that my appreciation for foxy celebs had to have started somewhere and then I remember the glory that was...JTT. Once again with the help of my blog/twitter pals a hottness monster list was compiled...enjoy this retrospective of...um...hottness?
(Jonathan Taylor Thomas...this post is dedicated to you)...

Alright folks...let's kick it old school...

Hottness Monster #1:
I figured that since Jonathan Taylor Thomas was the first boy I swooned over that he should be the first on my list. I remember buying 'Teen Beat' just to find pictures of him to tape to my walls. I watched 'Home Improvement' religiously and spent many hours wondering what it would be like to make out with the boy who did the voice of Simba in 'The Lion King'. Now that I am looking at this picture...I would still kinda like to smooch him...

Hottness Monster #2-for-the-price-of-one:
Zach Morris and A.C. Slater. Did y'all know that 'A.C' stood for Albert Clifford? True Story. These boys were the ish....every single of my Saturday mornings were made by these boys. Apparently I was into guys who had their chests waxed...

Hottnes Monster #3:
River Phoenix. The ultimate crush-worthy boy...brought to my attention by Lula (yes THAT Lula...don't be jealous). Phenomenal actor; was in one of the best movies ever holla! 'Stand By Me'. And that hair...I mean come. freaking. on.

Hottness Monster #4:

As you all know by now I always include a female hottness monster. This list actually has three. Topanga was my hero. I mean her hair was fabulous; she was so quirky; and I envied her boobage big time. Truth time...I still do...

Hottness Monster #5:Speaking of the stars of 'Boy Meets World' I now present. Shawn Hunter. Bad boy. Hot sex hair. Real name is Rider Strong. Are you kidding me? RIDE-HER STRONG...his entire name is a twss joke. For that I love him...

Hottness Monster #6:
Ricky Martin. I have no explanation. I loved him bad. I had a poster of him on my wall...I listened to 'She Bangs' over and over. I am appropriately ashamed. Do not judge me.

Hottness Monster #7:

You jump, I jump Jack. Leonardo DiCaprio was the ultimate foxy-boy-who-looks-feminine-that-we-all-love-during-tweendom. I went to see 'Titanic' twelve times in the movie theater. All because of Leonardo. I had a pet newt that I named Leo...I told everyone it was named after Da Vinci. That my friends, was a bold face lie...

Hottness Monster #8:No. The Olsen Twins do not get a 2-for-the-price-of-one title. Why? Well, because in my brain they are so tiny that they only equal one person...plus they look like one person. Therefore...they are listed as well, one person. I used to love 'Full House' and these ladies were a big part of it...however I asked for a male perspective and my Online Lovah gave it to me (that's what she said). He had the hots for the pre-anorexic Olsen days. So I said, "You got it dude!"...

Hottness Monster #9:

I had a lot of backup from my blog ladies on this hot piece. Devon Sawa...also known as 'Casper-The Friendly Ghost' also known as the most consuming of my tween-crushes. Come stroll with me down memory lane. Let me set the scene: it was 1995 and I was ten, my big brother Jon-than took me to go and see 'Casper'. I loved Christina Ricci because people told me I looked like her...I loved the entire movie...I loved when Casper got to be real and walk down that loooong staircase to dance with Kat. Then the kiss. He kissed Kat. I felt like since we look similar it was just like he was kissing me...yeah like I said I was 10, logic wasn't a big part of my life. After this encounter I came home and researched Devon Sawa. I found out he lived in Canada. I totally busted out the ol' '411' to Canada trying to find Devon's digits...needless to say I was not successful. Yes, it is perfectly okay for all of you to be 2nd-hand-embarrassed by this information...


Hottness Monster #10:

Like I said many times before, Rob shall always be featured on my lists because he is the ultimate hottness monster. Also, I just wanted to show you all that my taste in men has greatly evolved since the JTT years. I had something really witty to write about him but then I spent 5 entire minutes staring at this picture and lost my train of thought. But, I suppose the gist is...Rob I love you bad...

I know I didn't get all of your suggestions into this post. Maybe I will do another one like this someday...or YOU could just leave me your two cents in the comments section!

xoxo

41 comments:

Kellie said...

Holy swoon... all of these men are hoooooooot! I love it! And it seriously brings me back!

KatOfDiamonds said...

nope. couldn't finish without panting.

loved the list. #duh

Amy said...

LOVE!
I feel like a little girl again. The 90's were good. Full of star-crushes. And really really amazing shows.

Straitjackets are Slimming said...

I'm only feeling a little old. I did have Ricky Martin on my wall...in the Menudo years.

Mar said...

Well, hello to all my 90's crushes :)
I am so with you on every single one of them (well, except maybe Ricky Martin) and that picture of Leo... La Hot!

Nat said...

OK I was going to die if I didn't see Devon Sawa on this list. I mean hullo....Little Giants, Now and Then, Robin of Locksley (ok not his most famous but still....he was in it), Wild America. Need I say more? He was totally hot and I loved him big time. However he got fat and then skinny and now is just ugly. sad. But back in the day when I was 7 (yes I started boy crushing early) and I saw him in Little Giants I was smitten.

oh and JTT was so not my favorite. I told my friends I thought he was fat. However now I think he is a cutie.


YOu are cool and I have missed all my twitter pals this weekend.

Jacki said...

yay! i could read this post everyday! it brings back so many memories! haha and i DID know who JTT was i had just forgotten him. i mean, come on, what else has he been in?

this post is brilliant!
-Jacki

Mel said...

Sweet! For the next retrospective I must suggest Dylan McKay of the original 90210. Who didn't love him, right?

Anna said...

ohhhh JTT. What ever happened to him???? I remember going to a sleepover in 3rd grade with my friend's older sister's 5th grade friends and we wrote him a letter and put lipstick kisses on the envelope.

Shelby Lou said...

mmmm i love JTT but I love Zac Morris more. His isn't so cute now, but that's otay. I don't mind.

:D

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

You watched Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World? Awesome!

I still watch Saved by the Bell occasionally...

manda said...

I love this list!!! Home improvement, Saved by the Bell, and Boy Meets World are great shows. I like you watched all of them religiously! Great post :)

Allison said...

Haha, LOVE IT! :D I hate to say it- but if we're going by oldies right now, I thought that Kurt Russel was a cutie... back in his teens, that is.

Sam said...

that is my FAVE pic of Robby! Yeah, I call him Robby. I could stare at pics of him all day...

Liz said...

This has to be one of the best blog posts I've ever read.

O.M.G. ....
JTT.
SRSLY, I made a JTT club. And wrote JTT at letter. *blush* I got a postcard back LOL!
Lion King hottie.

Saved by the bell haha oh Zach.

Ricky Martin was more of a silly monster than a hottness monster to me.

Leo!

Omg, I watched those Olsen Twin kids videos when I was too old to be watching them. P.S. I still quote It Takes Two.

Rob looks like a hottness monster in that pic.


Hmm... other hotties from back in the day... What about "Alex Mack" from Nickelodeon omg I loved her LOL!

Oh, wait JUST A MINUTE.
You forgot the HANSON BROTHERS!
:)
Total fangirl

Mari said...

That is hilarious I died over Leo too and hello the guys from Roswell!!! LOVED them too!

Ashton Dene' said...

I do think Hanson must be on the next list!

How fun, I did major crush on most of these boys. In fact JTT is the only poster I have ever had in my room....no lie.

The Olsen Twins? Still my favs. I buy almost anything they are in...why? I'm not sure why, but I heart them.

x, ash

Lauren said...

First things first... who has a newt? Srsly, I've never known of anyone to have a pet newt and it is hilarious to me that you had one. But you are redeemed for naming him Leo. Because Leo was the hotness in Titanic, I even wrote about him in my diary...

This list is phenomenal! I was sad to learn as I got older that not all guys have silky smooth chests like Zack and Slater. That's how I thought it was supposed to be!

My fav part of TGIF was Boy Meets World. I was totes jealous of Topanga, and Shawn Hunter was WAY cuter than Corey.

I was obsessed with Devon Sawa, I'm pretty sure I thought I was going to marry him, for real.

You rock! Love you girly!

Kellie said...

PS award for you on my blog

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Lauren: I don't have a newt, but I was turned into one. I got better though.

Alexandria said...

Lauren...newts rule I am sending you one for Christmas.

"Sam"-were you my pet newt? becuase he is missing...I am thinking it may have been you. He DID use to hang out in my pocket all the time...hmmm

SJ said...

Um, this is a beautiful post. I loved Ricky Martin back in the day! Now he has twin babies and you never see the mother and that kind of bothers me.

Ahhh, Leo.

Stacy Dean said...

ohmygosh devon was totes my crush before I even knew how to crush! wild america-nuff said.

great list girl :)

Lula! said...

Sigh...
Once again, showing my age...'cause I had no idea who Devon Sawa is, except that his name is rad.

I never watched Boy Meets World, cause I was in high school during that piece, and it wouldn't have been cool. And stuff. Ya know?

But since I graduated with the Bayside Tigers (Class of 1993, represent!), as well as the West Bev Highers, I fully support you choosing "Zack" and "Slater." I would like to add "Dylan" and "Brandon" into this mix, too...you know...since we all graudated together.

I. Am. So. Old.

My hotness monsters are all in my age range. Ahem. Jason Statham (my boyfriend!), Alexander Skarsgard, and Mark Salling. OK, OK...so Mark is 27 and I'm 35. That does NOT make me a Cougar.

The end.
xoxo

p.s. One time I had dream sex with Daniel Radcliffe. It was GOOD times. Don't judge. And just last night I dreamt that Rupert Grint kissed me. SO WEIRD. And...again...don't judge...but it was rather delightful.

Love me through it.

Ivy said...

I'm with Lula and I will show my age. My first hotness monster was Kirk Cameron as Mike Seaver on Growing Pains (couldn't even remember the shows name, thanks Wiki!)

Ride-Her-Strong... Hahahaha

Leo, swoon on Titanic but not as much now, funny lie about the newt!

Did you know the Olsen twins are not identical? True Story... they are two separate eggs!

Rob... I am short of breath and thankful you posted another piece of art to lust over.

Love you!

Emily Sue said...

hi alexandria! i'm a new reader i came from amy's blog. and due to this post i think i'm going to become your 50th follower! i freaking love all those hottie mcbodies you listed so much. love love love. thanks for a fun post. consider me a new reader. :)

MoreThanMyOwnLife said...

I love love LOVE this list. Mmm I miss the 90s boys. I agree except for Ricky... not all about She bangs. Sorry.

What ever happened to these hotties? Makes me quite sad.

Anonymous said...

you need to stop the way you talk to certain people of my faith. we are not stupid and youre jokes are offensive not only to calvin but now to sam as well.
they are nice upstanding men and you cybering with them is not okay. you should be ashamed of yourself

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

"they are nice upstanding men..." - That's what she said.

But seriously, who is cybering with who now? I don't recall any of that. Mostly it has been TWSS jokes. Isn't cybering describing every action that one would like to imagine, instead of leaving things up to the imagination. For instance, yoga in car can mean getting down and dirty, or her merely deciding to blow on my belly to make me laugh while driving. I have not been offended, and if I was offended, I would have let her know.

If you do have issues with what has been stated on twitter, rag on me. Email me at maskedfencer AT gmail DOT com. Don't bring anonymous righteous indignation to a blog. It doesn't do anything.

Shelby Lou said...

heyo anonymous. Alexandria is da-bomb. She isn't being outlandish or being rude to people of "your faith". If your faith is my faith and I am not offended. Please remember one thing "don't be a stumbling block". You should understand what I mean by that. These boys play along with TWSS jokes and such, if they were offended they would say so.
Love you. Mean it. But don't say things about other people's business unless it directly concerns you. You should know that.

Shelby Lou.

Alexandria said...

Sam-
Best twss ever.

And for clarification, I was not talking about blowing on your belly...bahaha.

Srsly Anonymous quit reading my tweets you are a creepy stalker and it is weird. For real my friend...for real...

Amy said...

Hey anonymous, just because they're Mormon doesn't mean they don't like sexual joking-ness.

Duh.

you fail. big time.

Mel said...

I'm totally with Lula on Alexander Skarsgard. Holy hotness!

Alice said...

WHOA! How did I miss this post? AC Slater? haha! Did I ever tell you I made out with him? Worst kisser ever! haha!

Anonymous said...

sam you are toeing a fine line. you know you should not be saying the things that you say to her. you know it. she means them everything she says she would do.

shelby it isn't youre business either is it? no!

Alexandria said...

Anon-
Find a life please. Thank you. Don't make me have to shank you...also study YOUR grammar. Kthankbye!

Vienna said...

Love this list. Oh the memories! JTT...he had my heart. And River Phoenix...fell in love with him in Indiana Jones. Other hotness monsters for me were Matt Lawrence (*sigh*) and...maybe this is strange, but...Prince William! :)

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Anoners, again e-mail me if you have concerns. Heck, creating a new google email address takes less than 5 minutes if you want anonymity. But the comment section of the blog is not the place to raise these concerns.

If you have legitimate concerns for my faith and spiritual well being, then e-mail me.

Until then, I think I am perfectly safe; I haven't taken off my chastity belt, nor does the key work for it. So until I get off my lazy duff and call a blacksmith, I think I am well protected.

Again, if you truly want to help me, e-mail me. Commenting here is not the place to call me to repentance, calling collect doesn't work on blogs...

Bitten Usagi said...

Hahaha! Hotness monsters #2... heck yeah. I can't stand those celeb gossip shows but will totes watch Extra for Mario Lopez. I have also n known to watch some movies like Dead Man on Campus just for Mark-Paul Gosselaar. :D

Oh and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when you said you had to google Wil Wheaton. LOL. I'm probably one of few who thought he was just the hottest thing when I was younger! ;)

~kiMbeRLy~ said...

Wow!! This is AWESOME. No BRILLIANT..ok brilliantly awesome. Maybe awesomely brilliant...

Skylar Magazine said...

Hey I just started following your blog. I am really excited to see JTT on this list, I am still so in love with that guy and still determined to meet him. I'm also glad to see River Phoenix here too he was just beautiful, I was so devestated when he died, I didn't want to go to school, but I had to and I was miserable the whole day. It felt like I lost the love of my life. I was also in love with Zachery Ty Bryan, the Londons and C. Thomas Howell and Ralph Machio I was a big Outsiders fan. Oh and Rob Lowe, and he is still gorgeous today. Anyway, this is a great list and thank you for dedicating it to the guy I still call my future husband.