Guess what today is blog-pals?! It is, 'The Book of Questions' post time! Hmmm...I suppose you could have deduced that from the title of the post but...it was more fun for me announcing it like a game show host. Alright, since I have some new 'People who win at life and read my blog!', or as Blogger calls you 'Followers', here is a little background on these posts. Clickity click here and here...here...here and last but not least...nevermind if you do not get the point after all of that clicking then I just do not know what to tell you! Meh...anyway...drumroll as I flip through the book and question #42 COME. ON. DOOOWWWN.
Question #42: How would you react if you were to learn that your mate had a lover of the same sex before you knew each other?
Answer: Okay so I seriously considered cheating and flipping to a different question because I like to keep this blog as un-hostile as possible but that would be breaking the rules and that is not going to happen on this here blog!
Here is the deal. I am all about equal rights and I have zero issue with gay men or women! Honest! I feel very strongly that love is love no matter if the people in love are two men, a man and a woman, or two women...it is all the same to me! I am a strong proponent of legalizing gay marriage and I even took to the streets to protest Proposition 8 in California...
if you are wondering if this is my lesbian lover...it's not. it's real-life pal Jil. also if you are wondering if people saw us on the local news protesting and thought we were a couple...a few people did...
With that all being said...I would SO not be cool knowing that a man I was involved with had been with a man at some point in his life. Sorry! I am all about people doing what they please, experiment if you want but I am a jealous kinda gal and have hard enough of a time worrying about other women...that I would lose my mind if I had to worry about other women AND other men. That is far too much for my jealous little heart to take!
The question asked how I would react? I would ace right outta that relationship with the quickness! (Although the whole Jake/Heath scene in 'Brokeback Mountain' was the definition of hottness...and now that I am thinking about that I am rethinking my opinion, ha!) Just sayin'...
oh the hottness...I cannot believe I forgot Jake on my hottness monster list...
This is my 'Let's Keep This Blog Un-hostile' disclaimer. This is my blog and expresses MY views. I happen to be pro-equality. I however, do not judge or hate those who do not agree with me. So please do not judge or hate on me for my views! You are entitled AND invited to share your thoughts and opinions anytime as long as you respect mine. Deal? Deal!
So...your turn! How would YOU feel about your mate having been involved in a same-sex relationship pre-you? Is that awesomesauce? Or is it a deal breaker?
14 comments:
I'm not sure what to say.
All I really can say is that, I don't believe in same sex marriage or relationships. I've had gay friends in the past, I still love them. BUT within my own realm of beliefs I believe marriage is sacred, and is shared between a man and woman, families are forever, and in my faith the only way to have a forever family is to be sealed in the temple. ( I'm LDS if you haven't already guessed.) God loves all his children, we all have our own agency to do as we choose, but there is only one path back.
So I guess. No, it's a deal breaker. I thought the whole brokeback mountain things was hilar though! I love it.. haha funny funny. I hope I didn't disrespect!
I am pro-equality. I don't think this would be a deal breaker at all! But I wouldn't want the left overs from a past relationship to come into a current relationship, opposite sex or same sex. Does that make sense?
Good for you, protesting Prop 8!
Shelby- Nope! There was no disrespect in your answer! Honesty is always valued at this blog! xoxo
SJ- Rock on lady! I totally know what you mean...past relationship baggage is NEVER something one wants in their current relationship!
I agree with both Shelby Lou and SJ! Being all honest here, I love gay people- I just believe that marriage is shared between a man and a woman, etc. ALSO- I probably wouldn't be happy if there was past relationship baggage. That would stink.
I would have to answer pretty much the same way you did. I am jealous a bit and it took a while for me to get over the women my husband dated before we did (weird eh?) If he had a man lover... well... I would hope I would have known well before we fell in love but ya know... I am so hopelessly in love with my husband and he is sooo into me... I don't think it would have been an issue. He is my hotness and there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't look past to be with him.
So, I guess I wouldn't care.
I just don't believe in marraige period. Haha! Kind of kidding. Definitely believe in equal rights and I also like to think I am the one and only ever. So I don't think past partners would matter, hearing about them would be the dealbreaker.
And I use Latisse for my lashes. Love it!!
I can honestly say that THIS is one of my all time hardest questions to answer. My best friend is gay and I love him to death. He's a fantastic person and he's the most amazing friend I have. However, I know my religion and it doesn't support it. So I guess I'm kind of standoffish in the whole ordeal...I honestly can't straight up answer for or against.
But it's funny because my friend (gay friend Stephen) always tells me if he ever has kids he's going to raise them LDS and he said he would totally be LDS as well, but he just doesn't feel like he has a place in any religion because of how he feels. He was basically excommunicated from the Catholic church last year even though he was super active and stuff. :(
Being from Holland, you could say I'm as pro-equality as you can get. After all, Holland was the first country to legally recognize a marriage between two persons of the same sex (the first to legally recognize registered partnership, was Denmark, in 1989, btw). I have a lot of gay friends and really the only things I would want for them is the chance to have a 'normal' life, like the rest of us have. If that means that they're getting married and adopt kids - even better!
However, if I am in a relationship, the last thing I'd want to worry about is my boyfriend's previous relationships, be it with a man or a woman. The best thing would be if he'd had no relationships at all before he met me ;) just so I wouldn't have to worry about all that (wishful thinking, right?). So if my boyfriend can't shut up about his ex... then, that would be a dealbreaker, not whether it was a guy or a girl.
Wow... you need to make another hotness monster list because we have already determined 2 that were left off!
I'm the lame-o that doesn't have an official stance on this issue. To each their own... it's not for me and I couldn't handle it if John had been with a guy before me. But it doesn't stop me from supporting my best friend (who is gay) from living her life and being happy. So I guess you could say I'm pro gay rights, it's just not for me. I feel like that is a good compromise.
Hello Lover...I mean my totally straight friend Alexandria!! lol Yes I love when the news repeats that news blip, then my mother, bless her Against Gay Marriage little heart, can wonder how many of her little quilter ladies thinks her daughter is a lesbian!! Oooohhhhooo..don't worry Ma, I won't burn in the firey pits of hell...(well ya probably so, but not because I'm a lesbian, I likey the boys!!) So..the question, Hmm yes I'd have a big BIG issue with that...sorry, but Icky!! I'm fine with everyone, gay, straight or what have you, but not my guy! (although I often wonder about the fella in my life now..bahahaha!)
I think that would definitely be a deal breaker for me. In my mind, there would always be that little question of 'does he really love me, or is he just trying to cover up his true feelings?'.. or even 'I wonder if he thinks that guy is hot?' It's very shallow, but I think it would mess with my mind too much.
I hate even getting into the subject of same-sex relationships though. Because I know how I feel, but how I feel is so confusing that I tend to keep it to myself. I'll just say that I support them, have many gay friends and love them all to death. Love truly is love.. but I'll stop there. :)
dear name twin,
you make our name very chic and ecclectic. i love it and i love you. your blog is refreshing. thanks for being my friend!
love,
alexandria
This actually did happen for me. My fiance was in many crazy relationships before me (same sex doesn't even begin to cover it, but out of respect for him I won't go into details). The thing that helped a lot was that I knew about it before we were together, so I could already deal with it and accept it when we were still just friends rather than it coming up out of the blue. It became harder when we started dating, though. I'm like you, I have enough jealousy issues when it's just women, and his past really fueled that. It was really difficult for a long time. However, eventually I came to see that his past is not his present, and just because he did that in the past doesn't mean he will now. It was incredibly difficult, but I had to forgive him if I was going to love him. So I did. It gives me a lot of hope for our future that I can forgive such big things and still love him, and he can too.
I lost the Will to my Grace this year.
I am so very upset that I will never be at his wedding.
It pains my heart to know that many others who are still with us are still waiting for their 'right' to be married.
That being said, if I truly loved my partner and he truly loved me (not faking the striaghtness due to religious & society pressures) then I'd be okay with it.
It's just in my experience, most bi-men I know are only bi because it is the stepping stone to being fully out, and that is okay too.
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