urban hilarity {3.}...

Do y'all remember that time when I was slightly obsessed with spending time learning new words over at Urban Dictionary, and then I blogged about them? No? Well, that would be because it has been forever and a day since I actually did it. For a refresher class click here and then here and you will be all caught up. Now it is time for another installment of, 'Awesome words/phrases that I learned on Urban Dictionary that I will now start to use in real life.'

{1.} Soap Grafting: The act of attaching an almost completely used piece of soap to a new, unused piece because it is too small to be conveniently used but you also don't want to waste it.

My commentary: Oh em gee! This made me laugh so hard. You would think in the year 2011 most people would have made the switch to shower gel right? I mean do that many of y'all still use bar soap? All I know is my mother still uses it, and she refuses to use shower gel. Why? No clue. But I cannot tell you how many times I have climbed into the shower to see that my mother had previously morphed the very laaaast little chip of a soap bar onto a fresh one. She is crazy...or eco-friendly. I am going with crazy. Love you mama!

{2.} Urban Farmer: A person who constantly plays 'Farmville' and acts like they know everything about a real farm--but all they do is live in the city, sit at a computer, and at a certain time, need to stop what they are doing to farm their imaginary crops.

My commentary: This is possibly one of the MOST annoying things Facebook has done to the world. I mean really? REALLY? Can someone please explain to me why those games are fun? I mean...when a coworker has to take a break at work to take care of their faux farm...it makes me want to punch a baby. Hard.

{3.} Sinlaws: The parents of your live in girl/boyfriend.

My commentary: Dude. I don't care who you are, but that is straight up hilarious. If you don't all start using that word immediately we will no longer be friends. Christina, I am talking to you! My mama is so your 'Sinlaw'. Looooove it with me folks!

{4.} Sea-Kittens: An attempt by PETA to convince the general public to call fish by a name too cute to eat.

My commentary: Ummmm. Is this for real? I mean I could probably Google this and fact check it, but I am being lazy. I think this is hilarious, no offense to those who keep their meal plates animal friendly (more power to you), but sea-kittens? Fish as sea-kittens? I don't know about you, but I could go for a lovely grilled piece of sea-kitten at the moment. Just sayin'...

{5.} Drunken Immunity: Complete disregard on the part of a friend, girl/boyfriend or ex-girl/boyfriend for any minor stupid thing you said or did while drunk (i.e. drunk texting, drunk calling, drunken Facebook status updates, drunken confessions, etc).

My commentary: Why on earth was this phrase not around during my college days? Oh well, I now pass it on for all of you to use and enjoy. When in doubt, just straight up plead drunken immunity. Holler.

I love Urban Dictionary. It basically makes me laugh my booty off. I hope to keep these posts up, because I have a list of over 50 words that I want to share with y'all. I mean these are super important lessons friends. Well, I am off to help my mom with her soap grafting project...

Which of these are YOUR favorites? Are you going to throw some of this epic language into your everyday conversations? Please share in the comments section! And yes I do realize I may be the only person who finds these words funny, but that is a-okay with me

xoxo

urban hilarity {2}...

By now you all should know how much I adore Urban Dictionary. It is seriously hilarious and can entertain me like no other. Now it is time for the second installation of, 'Awesome words/phrases that I learned on Urban Dictionary that I will now start to use in real life.' Click here for the first installment of Urban Hilarity...

{1.} Stealth-Call: When you have to call someone back but don't want to talk to them, so you wait until you know they can't talk and leave a voicemail.

My commentary: I am such a stealth-caller. I honestly hate quick voice on voice conversations...I will for sure wait until I know someone cannot answer and call them to leave a quick message. I then will 'forget' to answer my phone when they return my call. I am officially glad I now have a name for my ninja-like call skills. Holla.

{2.} Bitchcopter: When someone is being an extreme bitch.

My commentary: This word is SO much win. I mean honestly, sometimes just calling someone a 'bitch' just isn't enough. Now we all have the word to use to address someones uber-supreme-bitchy ways.

{3.} Redneck Teleprompter: Crib notes written on a public speaker's hand in order to remind him or HER what to say during a speech or interview.

My commentary: Really? Really?! I am sorry but I don't care what side of the political aisle YOU hang out on...this is straight up hilarious. I mean c'mon. We all know S-Palin totes utilized a redneck teleprompter about a month ago. It was caught on tape...and it was freaking epic.

{4.} Understandment: The combination of understanding and agreement. Used when talking about an informal commitment. For example: "We are not dating, but we have an understandment not to fool around with other people."

My commentary: I just think this is pure genius. I mean, I am always down with a mashup of wordage. Plus, it is a time saver. Ftmfw. Understandment?

{5.} Cratazy: When you get so crazy, you need a new word for it in order to show just how epic it was.

My commentary: Um. Story of my freaking life. Loves it.

Now do you all see why I spend so much time over at Urban Dictionary? Yeah. Because it is totes legit. So, let's all do our parts and make these words happen, aight? Leave a comment telling me which one was YOUR favorite.

xoxo

urban hilarity {1}...

My blog has become kind of lame in these past few weeks. I blame school. All of my witty/snarky commentary has been drained from my brain by higher education. So, while I was supposed to be studying for midterms...I somehow ended up over at Urban Dictionary. I could spend HOURS there, it rules. Whilst perusing that glorious site I came up with the brilliant (she said so modestly) idea to document some of my favorite words and their definitions. These are all terms I am going to strive to use in real life. Why? Because I want to. Deal with it.

{1.} Vaguebooking: An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help.
Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it" Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea".

-My commentary: Hi. This word owns me. I hate Facebook. True story. The only time I EVER use it is if I am uber-bored and feeling slightly stalkerish...one thing that makes me crazy is the lame things people say just to get someone to ask them what is up. So suffice it to say I am so not going to become a fan of 'vaguebooking'.

{2.} Break your crayons: Trying to ruin your day or moment by doing something childish, petty or immature.

-My Commentary: I plan on using this phrase daily. I mean it has so much more awesome in it than saying someone is trying to 'bust your chops'. Back up and don't break my crayons...but if you must, please break the orange ones. I am not a big fan of the color orange...

{3.} The Time: A euphemism for sexual intercourse that was popularized by the widely read novel "Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger. The main character, Holden Caulfield uses the phrase several times throughout the book.

-My commentary: Are you freaking joking me? We use to say this back in the day (which was a Wednesday, fyi) all the time. How on earth did I allow this brilliant term for 'banging it out' slip my mind? From here on out I will never say 'sex' again, I will only say 'give the time'. Win.

{4.} Text-hole: Someone who texts on their cellphone in really inappropriate places, like movie theatres, concerts, plays, or during sex.

-My commentary: Yeah. This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Especially when it occurs in a movie theatre/play setting. If you were wondering if I am the kind of person who loses her mind and confronts obnoxious movie-goers. I am. I am not-so-secretly hoping I encounter a theatre texter so I can call them a text-hole. It is now pretty much the dream of my life.

{5.} Bitchassness: Term coined by Diddy on 'Making the Band'. Overall stank actions towards others through words, facial expressions, and/or song. Symptoms include: thinking your better than those around you, not speaking your true feelings, throwing large amounts of shady.

-My commentary: Okay first thing, I have never witnessed an episode of 'Making the Band' however after discovering this term...I am thinking I was missing out. I mean really? Bitchassness?! Pretty sure this is going to quickly turn into my favorite word of all time.

So, on Twitter I was discussing this lovely post of hilarity. I mean seriously I slayed myself with some of this...whatever. Yes, I do realize I may be the ONLY person who finds this entertaining. Yes, I have a list of 47 words to do this for, and it will become a regular feature. Love me through it.
xoxo