urban hilarity {1}...

My blog has become kind of lame in these past few weeks. I blame school. All of my witty/snarky commentary has been drained from my brain by higher education. So, while I was supposed to be studying for midterms...I somehow ended up over at Urban Dictionary. I could spend HOURS there, it rules. Whilst perusing that glorious site I came up with the brilliant (she said so modestly) idea to document some of my favorite words and their definitions. These are all terms I am going to strive to use in real life. Why? Because I want to. Deal with it.

{1.} Vaguebooking: An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help.
Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it" Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea".

-My commentary: Hi. This word owns me. I hate Facebook. True story. The only time I EVER use it is if I am uber-bored and feeling slightly stalkerish...one thing that makes me crazy is the lame things people say just to get someone to ask them what is up. So suffice it to say I am so not going to become a fan of 'vaguebooking'.

{2.} Break your crayons: Trying to ruin your day or moment by doing something childish, petty or immature.

-My Commentary: I plan on using this phrase daily. I mean it has so much more awesome in it than saying someone is trying to 'bust your chops'. Back up and don't break my crayons...but if you must, please break the orange ones. I am not a big fan of the color orange...

{3.} The Time: A euphemism for sexual intercourse that was popularized by the widely read novel "Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger. The main character, Holden Caulfield uses the phrase several times throughout the book.

-My commentary: Are you freaking joking me? We use to say this back in the day (which was a Wednesday, fyi) all the time. How on earth did I allow this brilliant term for 'banging it out' slip my mind? From here on out I will never say 'sex' again, I will only say 'give the time'. Win.

{4.} Text-hole: Someone who texts on their cellphone in really inappropriate places, like movie theatres, concerts, plays, or during sex.

-My commentary: Yeah. This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Especially when it occurs in a movie theatre/play setting. If you were wondering if I am the kind of person who loses her mind and confronts obnoxious movie-goers. I am. I am not-so-secretly hoping I encounter a theatre texter so I can call them a text-hole. It is now pretty much the dream of my life.

{5.} Bitchassness: Term coined by Diddy on 'Making the Band'. Overall stank actions towards others through words, facial expressions, and/or song. Symptoms include: thinking your better than those around you, not speaking your true feelings, throwing large amounts of shady.

-My commentary: Okay first thing, I have never witnessed an episode of 'Making the Band' however after discovering this term...I am thinking I was missing out. I mean really? Bitchassness?! Pretty sure this is going to quickly turn into my favorite word of all time.

So, on Twitter I was discussing this lovely post of hilarity. I mean seriously I slayed myself with some of this...whatever. Yes, I do realize I may be the ONLY person who finds this entertaining. Yes, I have a list of 47 words to do this for, and it will become a regular feature. Love me through it.
xoxo