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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

a walk down memory lane...

As you all know by now, my Dad passed away a little less than a week ago. I miss him more than I ever thought that I could. That may sound like a crappy thing to say but I think it is safe to say that we pretty much drove each other crazy. Not in a 'I hate you so much' kind of a way but in a 'we both think we are right about everything and the other is wrong' kind of a way. I suppose you could say we were two very similar people...except for we stood on the opposite sides of almost EVERY single issue.

Did we fight? Yep. Did we disagree? On almost everything. Did we still love each other? Absolutely.

My Dad was 81 years old. Yep...he is over 25 years older than my mother. He didn't have his first child (my older brother) until he was in his late 50's. Crazy, right?! Right. So I believe this generation gap was the cause of most of our arguments. He wanted me to be a little lady who was polite and sweet and always wore dresses. I grew up to be polite and loud and opinionated and I could not tell you the last time I put a dress on! Another big area of disagreement came from this....

I am awesome AND a Democrat...



He was wrong AND a Republican...

The two of us argued politics every single time we talked...and I think I will miss that most of all...even though we made each other mad it was still fun. I keep thinking about Thanksgiving and who is going to talk politics with me for hours on end this year...

This was back when we agreed on a lot. That sandwiches are delicious...and that I had a gigantic head. I believe I inherited that from him. We also had exactly the same amount of hair on our heads...

Dad, one of my brothers, and myself. this was my brothers 23rd birthday dinner. This was two days before my 21st birthday. I was bummed because we were at The Melting Pot and I technically couldn't order my first legal drink quite yet. My Dad was awesome and ordered ONE chocolate martini for me...he had ONE glass of wine. We were both tipsy by the time we left...total lightweights...

Another example of our mutual stubbornness is this lovely little tattoo I put on my foot when I was dumb and 20.I had every intention of hiding it from my pops...that is until my niece grabbed my foot the next day and I screamed because it was tender. The look my father gave me after he told me to wash it off and I said I couldn't should have left me dead in the hallway...why is this ironic?

I know this picture is hard to see...because it is old and faded and my baby bottle was blocking the view...but my Dad has been rocking this anchor tattoo on his forearm since he was 18 years old...

I am posting this because it was for some reason my Dad's favorite picture of his three kids. Probably because the boys have collared shirts on and I am in the frilliest dress known to man. Plus, the boys are not punching each other and I am not screaming for them to leave me alone...

This picture was taken at a little BBQ my mom had for me after I received my associates degree...yeah I know not really something to celebrate but try to tell that to my parents! I didn't walk in my graduation from community college because I was heading over to a 4 year university to finish up my bachelor's. My dad was disappointed but I told him he would get to see me walk this May when I was really done. It breaks my heart that he will never get to see that...although it makes me happy that one of the last conversations that I had with him he told me how proud of me he was. If you are wondering if I will have a picture of him under my graduation gown this coming May...I so will...

This may not be the most heartwarming 'tributes' but it is real. My Dad and I were very different, we were also similar in so many ways. We loved AND we argued. We had ups AND downs. I know there is no way I would be who I am if he didn't exist...and for that I am grateful.

Rest in peace Dad...you are already beyond missed. I also solemnly swear to NEVER vote Republican (sorry but some things will never change)...

Feel free to comment with some of YOUR favorite memories of your parents...or some of YOUR least favorite memories...because in the end they are ALL important.

xoxo

17 comments:

lynninlove said...

This is really sweet alexandria. I'm glad you have real and good memories with your dad. Big hug.

Okie said...

I lost my Mom a little over a year ago. That woman drove me crazy like you wouldn't believe... but it was because I loved her so much. So I have a good idea of what you're feeling, and you have my heartfelt condolences.

I've got too many memories to post just one, maybe I'll do a post about it soon. But thank you for bringing up the memories.

Lauren said...

This is so very sweet and I'm sure your dad would love it!

If you are in need of an arguement over Thanksgiving break, I might be of some assistance. While I have drifted more towards the middle in my political beliefs there are still some conservative parts inside that LOVE to argue :)

This post was wonderful. Memories are great because they stay with us forever!

Stacy Dean said...

so sorry. I think your strength is amazing too. {internet hug}

SJ said...

You are so strong, Alexandria. I loved this post so much, I am sure that your dad is and will be incredibly proud of you. Always.

kelleidoscope said...

I love this post.. and what a great tribute to your dad. I'm sure he'll always be with you

Living In Your Letters said...

What a perfect post. The people we love aren't perfect, and neither are we. But we embrace each other's differences and love each other anyway.

I admire your strength in adversity. I'm sure your father is very proud of you.

Allison said...

I love this post. It shows that even though two people can argue and fight, it doesn't mean that you don't love each other. I'm sure he was immensely glad to spend so much time with you and see you grow up.

You are such a strong, beautiful woman! :D

KatOfDiamonds said...

*tears prickling at eyes*

this is a beautiful post, love.

it shows your strength and compassion!

take care <3

Mel said...

What a beautiful job of memorializing your dad. Keep your head up girl, we're all thinking about you.

~kiMbeRLy~ said...

I love you so much right now. This post was so beautifully honest. it warmed my heart. Seriously! My dad and I used to fight but he would always come to my bedroom door and stick just his arm through. In his hand would be something that he knew I loved....like a bowl of icecream with all my favorite toppings! He would call it the white flag and the fight would be over. Anyway, I loved the way you honored your father. My thoughts and prayers are still with you!

Maya said...

"This may not be the most heartwarming 'tributes'" You're crazy! Such a beautiful, heartwarming tribute!

Mar said...

That was just beatiful!

I had to think of this quote, which seems very fitting;

"Much as some of us fight it, our parents have a mystical hold over us, the power to affect our thoughts and emotions the way only they can. It's a bond that changes over time, but doesn't diminish, even if they're half a world away, or in an entire world completely."

Hugs

Anonymous said...

Zander...that is amazing! I have tears in my eyes, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling and the pain you are feeling! What great memories!! Thanks for Ssharing...thinking of you.HUGS! JEN

Ashton Dene' said...

I seriously have tears rolling down my face after reading this post. I think that it sounds like your dad loved you very much and would be so proud of you. My mom is also wrong and a republican and I would rather fight about politics with her than agree with anyone else, because I know no matter what, she is going to love me when we get done discussing anything and everything.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, always.

x, ash

Bekah Buttons said...

sweetie i want to give you a hug. i'm so sorry about your dad passing. please email me if you ever want to talk. i mean it. i'm here....

<3 your friend through the internet who you don't know at all but is virtually hugging you as if I do....

Busy Bee Lauren said...

I can't believe I just saw this. I am so sorry about your loss. I wish I could do something for you...

Love you.