mail time...

Oh em gee! It has been far too long since I have written letters via my blog. Those are always my favorite posts. Why? Because they are fun and they just are. So, since I was a suckfest of a blog friend to Ms. Jacki the other day (I promised to address my blog/twitter pals in a vlog, and I failed), I decided I would rectify my transgression and devote an entire 'Mail Time' post to y'all! Srsly, if I do NOT write one to you...it doesn't mean I love you any less. You are all like my imaginary children, I do not play favorites. I will definitely be doing this again and will get you in the next round! *Some of what I say may mean nothing to you, but the people they are addressed to will get it!* With that let the letters begin...

Dear Jacki, Um. Sorry I am a vlog failure. I tried to imitate 'Jackie and Debra' for you but it was not awesome. So hopefully the fact that I am writing you a letter halfway makes up for it. Have I mentioned how legit you are? I have? Well, hmm I will say it again, because I am a Vermonta and do what I want ta. You are legit. I know your life is a bit of a suckfest right now because of stupid girls making lame decisions but I am proud you have not shanked one of them yet. Proud freaking mama over here. Also, if you do decide to cut a biatch...I will be on the first flight to the 802 to bail you out of juvi. No lie. I love your face. Love, Your Older & Wiser Internet Bff

Dear Kim, You know how much I adore you and all of your 'Southern Gal Relocated' glory. Your emails, comments, and tweets never fail to make me smile. True story. One of these days we will meet and it will be epic! In my head when I read anything you write I hear it in a Paula Deen voice...just so you know. I know the hubby man is leaving soon for another deployment and that you are sad right now, and I just want to tackle hug you and make you smile. He will be back before you know it, and you will be making hilarious vlogs of him swinging his light saber (ok that totes sounds dirty, but YOU know what I mean)! Love, Your Wannabe Southern Gal

Dear Ashton, You know that you are my political soul sister. You are also my go to, "Let's Mock Sarah Palin Friend". Good times I tell you. I cannot wait until our epic chain emails of awesomeness turn into the real and fabulous trip of awesomeness. I mean really, squinty eyed pictures AND endless amounts of #dirrrtymagic. Is there anything that could be more fun? Yeah...I think not. One day you and I will protest together. Love, Your Political Soul Sister

Dear Sam, So remember that one time I spent days trying to fluster you? Good times, right? I remember that I finally reached my goal (although with which comment, I do not recall). From that little mission we became online lovahs, and I am pretty sure we are practically Twitter-Married by now. I mean I think that was set in stone when we were coined as, "The Jim and Pam of Twitter" by BBL and then awarded the fabulous hash tag of #Samandria by Shannon. Holla! I also remember the time we almost got Twitter-Divorced...sad times. Utah is going to be legit. As will our impending Vegas nuptials. Your twss jokes slay me...srsly. Love, Your Twitter Wife (and possible future real-life bride)

Dear Kellie, Our road trip to Utah will be the stuff of legends. It really will be. We will sing Glee songs, drink slushees, and eat Teddy Grahams. We will also lament about how much we miss our lovely California sunshine. Sugarland's cover of 'Sex on Fire' will be played no less then 75 times. Let's do this, Face Punch style... no doubt. Love, Your Fellow Sex on Fire Addict

Dear Lovely Lauren Leigh, I want you to quit your job and school because I miss you. Srsly. What are Ashton, Jacki, and myself suppose to do without your endless #dirrrtymagic? Ok, no I do not actually want you to do either of those things but you get my point. What can I say? The trip of awesomeness will be amazing. As will be my wedding that you are currently planning. Thank you for allowing my flamingo Vans during the lovely event. Even if that is the only input I get! Also, I promise to be your trashy drunk friend who dances like a psychopath when you get married. Why? Because I love you just THAT much! Love, Your Internet Bff & Fellow Wand Lover

Dear Alexa Mae, What can I say? You are my Name Twin. I mean really...even our last names are freakishly similar. I wish you were my hair twin. Why? Because have I mentioned how much I covet your gorgeous locks? You are an inspiration and a all around lovely and kind person. Your strength and sweetness has meant a lot to me. As have your kind emails and support. When I come to Arizona I will come bringing you Sprinkles Cupcakes. Because that is the kind of friend I am! Love, Your Name Twin

Dear Amazing Amy, Hi. Have I mentioned congratulations on your BIG news?! Oh I have. Well, I am saying it again! Congratulations! I am beyond happy for you and Fiance (formerly known as Boyfriend). You are going to make a beautiful bride! You are a doll, who made me a lovely button that I adore! Also, do you remember that time you flipped on Twitter and went after the creeper who was being mean to Kellie? Oh em gee...the most hilarious thing of my life. Amazing Amy got gangsta. Word. Love, The Girl Who Nicknamed You Amazing Amy

Dear Shelby, You know how much I adore you. I tell you all the time that I have a girl crush on you (in a totally straight way). I am so glad Provo was gifted with your awesomeness...even though I kinda wish California would be gifted with it. You are my Vlog hero. Someday I will be as stellar as you in my lamespice vlogs. When I come to Utah we are going on the hunt for Calvin. Then 'Calby' can lock it down whilst watching '500 Days of Summer'. Legit. Thank you for talking me out of my tattoo with a fabulous SNL reference. You are straight up too legit to quit. Love, The One Who Calls You Shelbster

Dear Ivy, Hi. You know how much I adore you. I have made love to the coffee you sent me every morning since I got it. It is phenomenal. You need to sell this stuff. I also am so in love with my mug...that I drink everything out of it. Thank you again! Love you big! Love, The Internet Bff Who You Will One Day Share Cupcakes With

Dear Alice, I am pretty sure we are the exact same person. Other than our opinions about In-N-Out (which, hi. is an epic twss joke). I know you are bummed a little right now but, you will make an fabulous trophy wife! You will also make me happy when you do a makeup tutorial on your blog. I will love it. As I love you. Big freaking time. Love, Your Fellow California Native

Does anyone want to know why the spacing is jacked up on this post? Yeah? Me freaking to. But I am sick of trying to fix it so figure it out! So this was fun and I am going to make this a regular feature until I get to each and EVERY single one of you. Yep. Look forward to it folks. Like I have said eleventy thousand times, I adore my blog friends. This blogging community we have is awesome. True story. Sometimes I feel ridiculous for talking about you all like we are real-life friends...but then I remember that we ARE friends. Which wins!

xoxo