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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

i almost passed out...

Ladies...I know I am behind the times and that everyone has already seen 'New Moon' probably more than two times. I however went last night...I said I wouldn't blog about it because all of YOU already had but I am swooning and I can't help myself. I must blog about how much I loved this freakin' movie...feel free to not read...I will understand.

Dear Chris Weitz,
I want to kiss you full on the mouth (with or without tongue...totally your call). You made 'New Moon' what 'Twilight' should have been. GOOD! I am so disappointed that you are not directing 'Eclipse'...I only hope that the director of that movie understands the fandom as you do. You. Are. A. Rockstar.
Dear Charlie,
You are so MY Charlie. The exact same awkward, quiet, hunting & fishing Charlie that I pictured while reading the books. I love you and I also love your 'stache and your flannel. That is all.
Dear Kristen Stewart,I take back every bad/mean thing I ever said about you. You pretty much ruined 'Twilight' for me...with your "acting" (stuttering & blinking). You redeemed yourself. I am now sorta in love with you...you killed it in 'New Moon'. You are Bella. No question. You are also gorgeous.
Dear My Heart,
I am so sorry that this part broke you last night. Srsly.
Dear This Scene,
Are you kidding me? I almost wet myself because I was laughing SO hard when Jacob ripped his shirt off to clean Bella's headwound. Really? Because THAT is the most practical thing to do in the situation. (I secretly loved this scene...I vowed last night that the first guy to take his shirt off to clean blood from my forehead will be the man I marry. True Story.).
Dear Jessica,
You were A.Maz.Ing. "Movie night with Bellllaaa...yay..." Win!
Dear Alice,You are perfection. Your clothes were a little off...but I still was in some serious love with you. The scene with you and Jacob was all kinds of awesome...
Dear The Scene Where Bella Got Gangsta', Um. Bella is hardcore. She punches wolf-boys in the grill. Straight up my friends. Straight up...
Dear Gods of Awkwardness,
This scene was exactly how I pictured it in my head while reading. Holy uncomfortable situation Batman! I suppose the only difference between the version in my head and the version on the big screen is that in my head Mike was always cute...in the movie...eh not so much.
Dear The Wolf Pack & Emily,
I went into the theater thinking I would hate all the scenes involving wolves. Why? Because I am SO Team Edward therefore I dislike the wolves. Not anymore! I now sort of love the wolf pack. I also love Emily...she is beyond pretty and her scars were so perfect.
Dear Jacob's Abs,
You are 17. That is not ok. Seriously. I may or may not have audibly sighed/groaned the first time you were on the screen shirtless. It is perfectly acceptable to be 2nd hand embarrassed by that fact. (ladies did you see his back...in the scene where he was in Bella's room? Holy musculature. Hot. Hot. Hot.)


Dear Dakota Fanning,Remember when you were sweet and four years old in that movie, "I Am Sam"? Yeah...me too. I must admit I doubted your ability to pull off the pure evil that is Jane. I am sorry for my doubts. You freaked me out. Hardcore.
Dear The 2.5 Seconds Where I Considered Being Team Jacob,During those seconds I sort of lost my mind. I was sitting there thinking about Jacob's sex arrows...and his tattoo...and his back and I thought, "Screw it Bella...kiss him! Open-mouthed!"...I then quickly regained my mental capacities and remembered Edward...

Dear This Kiss,I wanted to break out into a Peaches & Herb song in the movie theater. You know..."Reunited and it feels sooo good.."? This was the hottness. Edward is the hottness. Edward & Bella practicly jumping each other in the middle of the square in Volterra was THE hottness. The thought "Ugh. Edward do me now." may or may not have been running through my head...just sayin'.

Dear Aro,Perfect. Creepy. Scary. Sick. Perfection. Nasty. Ugh. I love you.

Dear Bloggers,

Did anyone else feel like they were going to pass out at this part? I did! I literally stopped breathing. I also stopped breathing during the very last scene...you know which one I am talking about. SWOON!!

Sorry for this ridiculously long post! As you can see I loved the movie. I plan on seeing it again this weekend...and next...and the one after that. Basically I will continue to go until it is no longer in the theater. Truth.

22 comments:

Lauren said...

Your review is right on! I was really surprised that I actually liked the wolf pack, they did an absolutely awesome job casting it!

I will be going back for round two this weekend, I can't wait to see it again.

Krysten Hartenstein said...

Oh my gosh, love your review! You pretty much said everything I was thinking!

MoreThanMyOwnLife said...

If I ever considered being Team Switz, it was during this movie. I settle for being Team Edward and also Team Taylor. Follow that logic? awesome. It should be ILLEGAL for a 17 year old to look that scrumptious. I too was totally screaming in my head "just kiss him!!!" well, until the next movie, I look forward to it, it'll be HOT!

I may or may not have been saying very inappropriate things in my head during those same 2 Edward scenes. At least he is legal age.

Loved this movie. loved loved loved it.

Amy said...

This was an amazing post. Perfect! I agree with you on everything.
Although, I'm Team Edward for Bella, Team Jacob for me. I'm really into muscle, and to be honest, I think those abs on the scene where Edward starts to walk into the sunlight, were totally drawn on- they looked so fake. He just wasn't as attractive to me as Jacob was. Edward is perfect for Bella. Jacob (even if he is younger) is my kinda guy. Don't get me wrong- Edward is beautiful! Dang...so beautiful. But I'm just more attracted to Jacob (Taylor). I guess I'm like the commentor above me: Team Edward, but Team Taylor. :)

This movie was amazing. The acting, the lighting the effects and EVERYTHING was better than Twilight. I loved it. And I loved your recap. You rock!

Stacy Dean said...

love the review. spot on! and can I also second this wonderful review with my 2 "can't stop thinkin about em" scenes:

1. the 360 degree bella cam. I wanted to fist bump mr. weitz at that part. brilliant. kstew too.

2. absolutely LOVE the crow scene...where it's like...suspended mid air, flapping and whoa! there goes victoria in all her vampy glory. just great.

oh okay and 3. anything with mr. lautner. he had me at...whatever the first thing he ever said was!

(i can't wait for feb to come, thus making taylor 18 and not so pervy to swoon after.)

lynninlove said...

wow, this post was kinda hot and makes me totally want to see the movie. which i haven't. cuz I hated twilight. and i LOVED the books. think we might go see it tonight!

Kristin Lee said...

I agree 150%!!!!!

I want them to go back and redo Twilight now.

Our audience was awesome. We had catcalls and sarcastic comments through out.

Sara said...

I haven't seen it yet as I like to wait until a little of the hysteria dies down so I can watch the movie in peace without 7,000 14-year olds gasping every time something happens.

But after reading this, I have to say, I've got some super high standards.

I hope I like it as much as you did!

Alice said...

You and I are like one...like fur realz. Great review!

You know where Jacob took his shirt off for the first time...yeah I may or may not have said out loud that I wanted to lick him. Oh those sex arrows...be still my heart.

I must repeat to myself "His 17 will get me 20, his 17 will get me 20" Cougar status! haha!!

P.s. his neck looks way weird in that picture with his shirt on Bella. Weird right? That I noticed his neck.

Quincifer said...

I haven't seen it yet arghhhh! I want to so much, but I don't have any money for the cinema *cries*

Popped over from SITS...and now wanting to see it more!

Connie said...

bahaha! I love this! You crack me up!!

K, I totally agree about the shirt thing when Bella crashes.. but hey, it's in the book!
Chris Weitz is amazing. AMAZING!

Team Jacob! Booyah! (;

Allison said...

Yes, I LOVED IT!! :D Haha- if you noticed, Bella NEVER smiles while kissing. Pulease. I'm pretty sure she would be smiling if she were kissing Edward! "D

amanda leeann said...

jessica is the best human. hands down!

[my friend and i have been saying "movie night with bellaaa" for 6 days straight. it's awesome.]

Three Crafty Biiitches said...

I'm going to keep the majority of my opinion to myself..just because. I totally LOVE the wolf pack, Emily is beautiful, the boys(men) to wolves transition-perfect, Charlie love, Bella much better.. and last I'd just want to point out and see if anyone else notice how terribally odd Jacobs body to head positioning is in the picture of him with Bella..go up and look the one with is shirt off taking care of Bellas head wound! WIERD..

Ivy said...

I wish I could go and see it again... sadly, I will have to wait until it comes out on DVD.
Your post was lovely and gave me the shiverees again as if I just was at the movie. I will just keep reading your blog. Love it! Love you!

Mar said...

Thanks for putting this up! It's quite a hassle for me to go see the movie (most of all because the nearest cinema is one hour from here. I know, what kind of country do I live in, right?), but now I really, really want to see it!

KatOfDiamonds said...

With the exception of the KStew praise, I totally agree!!!! eeeeee!

Plus I loved reading your recaps lots!!! =]

SJ said...

I have so much love for this post. I am so glad you approved of New Moon. I agree with everything.

Mel said...

Loved this post! Like lynninlove I wasn't too keen on seeing this movie because I was so totally disappointed in Twilight, but your post makes me want to see it now. Especially if Kristen Stewart has redeemed herself because like you said she and her stuttering, blinking and twitching was a big part of what I hated about Twilight.

Also, I totally agree with a few other commenters about the awkwardness of that shot of Jacob with his shirt on Bella's head. I think it's the awful hair that does it, but his head looks like it's disconnected from his body. Creepy.

Autumn said...

Yes! Perfect. I love this. And I too stopped breathing... at about 5 different scenes in this movie.

Anonymous said...

OMG...I love this post, love this movie, love Edward, and loved Jacob for 1/2 the movie, that is until Edwards Return!!
I can't wait to watch it again...3rd times a charm right! LOL!
JEN

Living In Your Letters said...

Your review is probably my favorite that I read! You are hilarious. "Gods of Awkwardness"...awesome. Pretty sure we have almost exactly the same thoughts on this movie. :)