mail time...

My favorite posts to do are the ones where I write random letters to people/places/things. Why? I dunno. I just like them...get off my back about it 'aight? On we go...

Dear Pesto,

I am sorry for calling you an idiotic crackhead pigeon child. That was not very nice or nurturing of me. Sometimes I am a bad pigeon mother. You were brilliant in lab on Monday...even though you still pulled a biatch move and scratched me. Although, I am thinking that a pigeon scratch is the equivalent of me shanking someone...so you must get that from your mother. Holla! I promise not to squeeze you anymore as long as you don't peck me. Deal? Deal!

Dear Hershey's Cookies and Cream Candy Bar,

I just ate you for dinner. Yeah. That is correct for DINNER. You were delicious...unfortunately I now feel like I am going to vomit. Yes, I do blame you for that. Why? Um...because I can. That is all.

Dear UPS,

So, I have used your lovely speedy delivery services many times (um...twss?). Overall, I have always been left fully satisfied (what she always hopes to say). However, as of today you have left me high and dry (we get the idea correct?). When I pay YOU to overnight something...you should do just that. Get the delivery there...over-freaking-night. Because of YOU and your lame delivery people in their ugly brown uniforms a package of sheer awesome has been delayed. Is it the end of the world? No. Am I still pissed? Yep.

Dear Girl I Walked Behind This Afternoon,

Um. Just a friendly tip...tights do not qualify as pants. They just don't. If they ever do, one should at least have the decency to make sure their shirt covers their booty. You unfortunately didn't. I could see through your 'pants'...and when I say, "I could see through them." I literally mean I could see the pattern on your underwear. Sick-to-the-nast.

Dear Blog,

I am sorry I have been neglecting you as of late. It isn't that I don't care...it is just that I have been a little busy. School and such has stolen me away from my own personal happy place. Unfortunately, I do not believe this time issue will be solved any time soon. Between commuting, classes, homework, and my internship I am a busy gal! I do solemnly swear to post at least once or twice a week (hopefully more). Honestly, it's me not you.

Dear Weekend,

Hi. Can you get here with the quickness? Thank you.

Dear Mom,

You know I love you as if you were family, right? Bahaha...just kidding you are my family. I accepted that many years ago. You know what I do NOT love? The sex jokes that you insist on making constantly. Just because I am an adult and we can have a good laugh about grownup business now does not mean that I want to hear the phrase 'Levi lovin' come out of your mouth. Ever. In my life. NEVER. Also, please stop referring to your electric blanket as your 'electric boyfriend'. It isn't funny. It is child abuse. That is all.

Dear Astronomy,

You are possibly the most dull class I have ever taken. I know it is my fault that I am taking you right at this moment. I should have completed my GE requirement of a physical universe science with a lab component in my first two years of college. Well, what can I say? I am a slacker and decided to wait until my last semester of college. So I brought it on myself. However, I take serious issue with the fact that I have to learn about the stars. Why? Because I want to be a shrink not Spock. Although, one of my favorite twss jokes of all time came from that class. The professor even gave my twss accomplice and myself 5 points for our epic joke. This was what went down, guy in my class leans over in the planetarium and says, "Hey, can I use my Big Dipper to shoot the Milky Way into your Heavenly G?" Me, "Holy hilarity! That is FOR SURE what he asked her!" Yep. Epic win right there.

So, does anyone want to send some mail with me? I know these were all kind of rants...but hey sometimes one just needs to rant! So join me, won't you?

pesto is a little biatch...

It is time for a Pesto the Pigeon update! Do you all remember little Pesto? You know my pigeon kid? If not then go on over here and meet him. So, I didn't feel like typing up a blog post today...instead I made a vlog. Enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB-parABi0E

Alright, I need some honesty from you lovelies. It is voting time! Who thinks I will kill Pesto, by squeezing him to death, before the end of semester? Anyone? Anyone?

xoxo

apparently psychology has a farm just like old mcdonald's...

Um. Hi, neglected, sad, lonely blog of mine. I have missed thee very much. Unfortunately, as of Monday my real life kicked back into gear (yes by 'real life' I mean school). So I am back to the grind *ahem*, which means less posts on this beloved blog o' mine. Hopefully, you all won't perish without me...yes I DO know I am not that legit. Just let me live in my fantasy world, kthanksbye!

Are you wondering what my week has consisted of thus far? You are? Awesome. You are in luck...I am going to mansplain some of the highlights...

Monday was a day of pure awesome glory. It was the first day of the semester...which is normally pretty much a fail. However, I had the coolest thing waiting for me in the hallowed halls of my Psychology Department. I was not looking forward to my 'Elements of Learning and Memory' class...it is boring. All that is talked about is Pavlov. Lamespice. That is when I walked into the lab component of the course and met the avian love o' my life. Allow me to introduce y'all to Pesto (okay so this technically is not THE Pesto...but it might as well be his twin)...Yep. I get to spend the next four-ish months training this adorable little pigeon friend. I. Was. Stoked. I was not stoked when my professor informed us all that our little avian pals will be euthanized at the end of May. Um. Fuhthewah?! You are going to MURDER these cute little buggers just because we are done tormenting them? Sad times. Then we were told that if we wanted, we CAN adopt our pigeons at the end of the semester. It was a sweet victory.

So, hopefully I do not kill my pigeon in the next four months so then I can adopt him and be a pigeon mommy. Also, don't you worry your pretty little heads...I found a pigeon baby-daddy. Yep, Sam stepped up to the plate and even helped me rename the pigeon. I was told I was not allowed to give little '#J942' a REAL name...because if he dies I will be attached and then be sad. I said, "Eff that!" So, Sam suggested using the name of one of the Animaniac mafia pigeons...Squit, Pesto, or Bobby. I chose 'Pesto' because I liked the alliteration of 'Pesto the Pigeon'.

I can't take a real picture of little Pesto because apparently cell phones+pigeons=Armageddon...or something to that effect. I plan on sneaking a photo shoot in. If I don't? Well, that means I am a 'mommy blogger' failure.

Speaking of, my dear Internet Bff and #musictwin Shannon anointed me with the 'mommy blogger' title. She also happens to be one of my highlights of the week. See...Shannon is awesome. She is another Utah blog friend I plan on meeting SOON. She is pretty much my twin in all things music. I l-o-v-e music. It is my lifeblood. However, as of late I have been seriously lacking in new music. Shannon remedied that problem with the uber-quickness. How? She mailed me FOUR cds full of amazing swoon-worthy #musictwinness. She also threw in quite a few other little pressies that made me happy. I will fight any of you who try to say your blog friends beat mine. Seriously. I will shank you. Mine win!

One more highlight of this week (well actually of the past couple of months) is the amazing that is the 'that's what she said' jokes. I love them so bad. I have met my twss match in Sam (you know. my twitter husband. and my pigeon baby-daddy). We pretty much text each other all day long. I would say 97% are twss-texts. He can make ANYTHING a twss joke. Math, computer science, santa, pirates, donuts...it is hilarious. I have decided to start compiling a list of our twss marathons for YOUR lovely viewing pleasure. Would you like a little taste (twss)?

Alex (aka ME): "It is stupid. I am so over it."

Sam (aka twss master): "Well, you are always over it. Assuming I am 'it'."

That is just the tip of the iceberg...*ahem* say it with me folks...

One last epic thing before I depart and do my homework. Bastina Balicious (future sister in law o' mine) has been sucked into the blog world. I couldn't be more pleased. Now I get to read her daily hilarity and benefit from her expertise button making skills. She is a button addict and I am almost certain I am going to have to ship her to rehab. Good thing I already scored some epic buttons from her. Holla! I didn't even have to ask her and she so kindly made me two new buttons. Look on over at the right side o' this blog and pick your favorite new 'Always Alexandria' button. I mean twss AND peace signs?! Yep. She knows me well. Thanks Bastina!

And that is my week in semi-review. Are you jealous of my life yet? Also, please know you are all aunties and uncles of Pesto. Love him like he was your own, okay? Oh, does it bother anyone that I abuse grammar and punctuation like a redheaded stepchild in the middle of Wal-Mart on my blog?! Anyone? Yeah sorry if it does...that is how I roll. This blog lets me pay grammar NO mind. Just love me through it, ok?

xoxo