dear starbucks...

Dear Starbucks Coffee Company,

I love you. Oops! Was that a bit too forward? Was it a bit too soon? No? I didn't think so. See we have had an ongoing relationship since 1998. I still remember the first time that I ever met you. I was in Ashland, Oregon with my Aunt Barbara. We were in town to attend The Shakespeare Festival. It was a cold night, and we were in the outside theatre so we decided to hook ourselves up with some warm beverages. We somehow wandered into your store. It was there that I first consumed my Starbucks drink of choice, a grande hot white chocolate mocha, no whip. From then on out we had a great love affair. I visited you often, even though for many years your nearest location was 45 minutes away from where I lived. My love for you grew so much more when you relocated to my hometown. Now I get to see you every day, sometimes more than once a day, and we are no longer in that horrible long distance relationship we had for years.

Over time I switched my Starbucks drink of choice. After awhile I decided to ditch the calories that were contained in my beloved white chocolate mocha, although I do still indulge every once in awhile. My daily drink became a delicious iced green tea. It was half the price of my mocha, and less than half the calories. It is basically an amazing beverage. Now whenever I visit you, dear Starbucks, your employees greet me by name and they honestly don't even have to ask what I am ordering (well...they ask if I want one or two because coworker Tania, shares my drink of choice). Then around Valentine's Day, you surprised me with a way to make my drink even better. You introduced a new size...the one, the only, Trenta. Holy mother of all things delicious, I was so excited to see the introduction of this ginormous new cup. Now I get to say these lovely words to you every weekday, "I will have a Trenta iced green tea, no water, extra ice, and four Splenda. Thank you!"

Starbucks you are my one true love. A constant in my never ending hectic life. Here is to our our twelve year long relationship! May the joy just keep on coming.

Forever Yours,

Always Alexandria

xoxo

that one time i won a giveaway...

I am an awful blogger sometimes. Ever since I joined the real world and got a big girl job my blog has fallen by the wayside. I am trying to fix that little problem, because I really do love this blog. Back to the point, forever ago (9-22-10, to be exact) I won a lovely giveaway from an overseas blog pal. She is darling and I adore her. Make sure to check out her blog here. Here are some pictures of what was in the secret package that Mar mailed to me. Thanks girl! I really did love it...and I am thinking I need to place an order for some of that spectacular candy you placed in the box!

1- Oooh I was so excited. I love that Mar wrapped every little treasure and wrote cute messages on the paper.

2- An adorable little Moose friend. I am pretty sure Bug jacked this from me right as I opened it.

3-Cute wrapping and a little message.

4- How precious are those little animal tea bags?!

5- Hootie owl earrings! I love them and I wear them all the time.

6- A hilarious sticker, and a moose magnet!

7- Mar must know all about the love affair I have with sunglasses.

8- More cute wrapping.

9- Precious Parisian themed pins.

10- Look at all the goodies!

Yay for giveaways! Thanks Mar, I loved the gifts so, so much. Sorry it took me SO long to blog about it! Now I am thinking it is about time I hosted a giveaway of my very own. What say ye blog pals?

xoxo

mail time...

My favorite posts to do are the ones where I write random letters to people/places/things. Why? I dunno. I just like them...get off my back about it 'aight? On we go...

Dear Pesto,

I am sorry for calling you an idiotic crackhead pigeon child. That was not very nice or nurturing of me. Sometimes I am a bad pigeon mother. You were brilliant in lab on Monday...even though you still pulled a biatch move and scratched me. Although, I am thinking that a pigeon scratch is the equivalent of me shanking someone...so you must get that from your mother. Holla! I promise not to squeeze you anymore as long as you don't peck me. Deal? Deal!

Dear Hershey's Cookies and Cream Candy Bar,

I just ate you for dinner. Yeah. That is correct for DINNER. You were delicious...unfortunately I now feel like I am going to vomit. Yes, I do blame you for that. Why? Um...because I can. That is all.

Dear UPS,

So, I have used your lovely speedy delivery services many times (um...twss?). Overall, I have always been left fully satisfied (what she always hopes to say). However, as of today you have left me high and dry (we get the idea correct?). When I pay YOU to overnight something...you should do just that. Get the delivery there...over-freaking-night. Because of YOU and your lame delivery people in their ugly brown uniforms a package of sheer awesome has been delayed. Is it the end of the world? No. Am I still pissed? Yep.

Dear Girl I Walked Behind This Afternoon,

Um. Just a friendly tip...tights do not qualify as pants. They just don't. If they ever do, one should at least have the decency to make sure their shirt covers their booty. You unfortunately didn't. I could see through your 'pants'...and when I say, "I could see through them." I literally mean I could see the pattern on your underwear. Sick-to-the-nast.

Dear Blog,

I am sorry I have been neglecting you as of late. It isn't that I don't care...it is just that I have been a little busy. School and such has stolen me away from my own personal happy place. Unfortunately, I do not believe this time issue will be solved any time soon. Between commuting, classes, homework, and my internship I am a busy gal! I do solemnly swear to post at least once or twice a week (hopefully more). Honestly, it's me not you.

Dear Weekend,

Hi. Can you get here with the quickness? Thank you.

Dear Mom,

You know I love you as if you were family, right? Bahaha...just kidding you are my family. I accepted that many years ago. You know what I do NOT love? The sex jokes that you insist on making constantly. Just because I am an adult and we can have a good laugh about grownup business now does not mean that I want to hear the phrase 'Levi lovin' come out of your mouth. Ever. In my life. NEVER. Also, please stop referring to your electric blanket as your 'electric boyfriend'. It isn't funny. It is child abuse. That is all.

Dear Astronomy,

You are possibly the most dull class I have ever taken. I know it is my fault that I am taking you right at this moment. I should have completed my GE requirement of a physical universe science with a lab component in my first two years of college. Well, what can I say? I am a slacker and decided to wait until my last semester of college. So I brought it on myself. However, I take serious issue with the fact that I have to learn about the stars. Why? Because I want to be a shrink not Spock. Although, one of my favorite twss jokes of all time came from that class. The professor even gave my twss accomplice and myself 5 points for our epic joke. This was what went down, guy in my class leans over in the planetarium and says, "Hey, can I use my Big Dipper to shoot the Milky Way into your Heavenly G?" Me, "Holy hilarity! That is FOR SURE what he asked her!" Yep. Epic win right there.

So, does anyone want to send some mail with me? I know these were all kind of rants...but hey sometimes one just needs to rant! So join me, won't you?

mail time...

Oh em gee! It has been far too long since I have written letters via my blog. Those are always my favorite posts. Why? Because they are fun and they just are. So, since I was a suckfest of a blog friend to Ms. Jacki the other day (I promised to address my blog/twitter pals in a vlog, and I failed), I decided I would rectify my transgression and devote an entire 'Mail Time' post to y'all! Srsly, if I do NOT write one to you...it doesn't mean I love you any less. You are all like my imaginary children, I do not play favorites. I will definitely be doing this again and will get you in the next round! *Some of what I say may mean nothing to you, but the people they are addressed to will get it!* With that let the letters begin...

Dear Jacki, Um. Sorry I am a vlog failure. I tried to imitate 'Jackie and Debra' for you but it was not awesome. So hopefully the fact that I am writing you a letter halfway makes up for it. Have I mentioned how legit you are? I have? Well, hmm I will say it again, because I am a Vermonta and do what I want ta. You are legit. I know your life is a bit of a suckfest right now because of stupid girls making lame decisions but I am proud you have not shanked one of them yet. Proud freaking mama over here. Also, if you do decide to cut a biatch...I will be on the first flight to the 802 to bail you out of juvi. No lie. I love your face. Love, Your Older & Wiser Internet Bff

Dear Kim, You know how much I adore you and all of your 'Southern Gal Relocated' glory. Your emails, comments, and tweets never fail to make me smile. True story. One of these days we will meet and it will be epic! In my head when I read anything you write I hear it in a Paula Deen voice...just so you know. I know the hubby man is leaving soon for another deployment and that you are sad right now, and I just want to tackle hug you and make you smile. He will be back before you know it, and you will be making hilarious vlogs of him swinging his light saber (ok that totes sounds dirty, but YOU know what I mean)! Love, Your Wannabe Southern Gal

Dear Ashton, You know that you are my political soul sister. You are also my go to, "Let's Mock Sarah Palin Friend". Good times I tell you. I cannot wait until our epic chain emails of awesomeness turn into the real and fabulous trip of awesomeness. I mean really, squinty eyed pictures AND endless amounts of #dirrrtymagic. Is there anything that could be more fun? Yeah...I think not. One day you and I will protest together. Love, Your Political Soul Sister

Dear Sam, So remember that one time I spent days trying to fluster you? Good times, right? I remember that I finally reached my goal (although with which comment, I do not recall). From that little mission we became online lovahs, and I am pretty sure we are practically Twitter-Married by now. I mean I think that was set in stone when we were coined as, "The Jim and Pam of Twitter" by BBL and then awarded the fabulous hash tag of #Samandria by Shannon. Holla! I also remember the time we almost got Twitter-Divorced...sad times. Utah is going to be legit. As will our impending Vegas nuptials. Your twss jokes slay me...srsly. Love, Your Twitter Wife (and possible future real-life bride)

Dear Kellie, Our road trip to Utah will be the stuff of legends. It really will be. We will sing Glee songs, drink slushees, and eat Teddy Grahams. We will also lament about how much we miss our lovely California sunshine. Sugarland's cover of 'Sex on Fire' will be played no less then 75 times. Let's do this, Face Punch style... no doubt. Love, Your Fellow Sex on Fire Addict

Dear Lovely Lauren Leigh, I want you to quit your job and school because I miss you. Srsly. What are Ashton, Jacki, and myself suppose to do without your endless #dirrrtymagic? Ok, no I do not actually want you to do either of those things but you get my point. What can I say? The trip of awesomeness will be amazing. As will be my wedding that you are currently planning. Thank you for allowing my flamingo Vans during the lovely event. Even if that is the only input I get! Also, I promise to be your trashy drunk friend who dances like a psychopath when you get married. Why? Because I love you just THAT much! Love, Your Internet Bff & Fellow Wand Lover

Dear Alexa Mae, What can I say? You are my Name Twin. I mean really...even our last names are freakishly similar. I wish you were my hair twin. Why? Because have I mentioned how much I covet your gorgeous locks? You are an inspiration and a all around lovely and kind person. Your strength and sweetness has meant a lot to me. As have your kind emails and support. When I come to Arizona I will come bringing you Sprinkles Cupcakes. Because that is the kind of friend I am! Love, Your Name Twin

Dear Amazing Amy, Hi. Have I mentioned congratulations on your BIG news?! Oh I have. Well, I am saying it again! Congratulations! I am beyond happy for you and Fiance (formerly known as Boyfriend). You are going to make a beautiful bride! You are a doll, who made me a lovely button that I adore! Also, do you remember that time you flipped on Twitter and went after the creeper who was being mean to Kellie? Oh em gee...the most hilarious thing of my life. Amazing Amy got gangsta. Word. Love, The Girl Who Nicknamed You Amazing Amy

Dear Shelby, You know how much I adore you. I tell you all the time that I have a girl crush on you (in a totally straight way). I am so glad Provo was gifted with your awesomeness...even though I kinda wish California would be gifted with it. You are my Vlog hero. Someday I will be as stellar as you in my lamespice vlogs. When I come to Utah we are going on the hunt for Calvin. Then 'Calby' can lock it down whilst watching '500 Days of Summer'. Legit. Thank you for talking me out of my tattoo with a fabulous SNL reference. You are straight up too legit to quit. Love, The One Who Calls You Shelbster

Dear Ivy, Hi. You know how much I adore you. I have made love to the coffee you sent me every morning since I got it. It is phenomenal. You need to sell this stuff. I also am so in love with my mug...that I drink everything out of it. Thank you again! Love you big! Love, The Internet Bff Who You Will One Day Share Cupcakes With

Dear Alice, I am pretty sure we are the exact same person. Other than our opinions about In-N-Out (which, hi. is an epic twss joke). I know you are bummed a little right now but, you will make an fabulous trophy wife! You will also make me happy when you do a makeup tutorial on your blog. I will love it. As I love you. Big freaking time. Love, Your Fellow California Native

Does anyone want to know why the spacing is jacked up on this post? Yeah? Me freaking to. But I am sick of trying to fix it so figure it out! So this was fun and I am going to make this a regular feature until I get to each and EVERY single one of you. Yep. Look forward to it folks. Like I have said eleventy thousand times, I adore my blog friends. This blogging community we have is awesome. True story. Sometimes I feel ridiculous for talking about you all like we are real-life friends...but then I remember that we ARE friends. Which wins!

xoxo

mail time...

A few people use this new feature on their blogs...so I am basically thieving someone else's idea. But I am fessing up to it...so that makes it okay right? Right!

I love mail. Not bills and postcards from my dentists telling me it is time to get my teeth cleaned. But the occasional little note from someone or birthday cards...you know fun stuff like that. So since I love mail I am sending out some letters of my very own...

Dear Nails,

Hi, you look lovely right now all painted up with 'Sally Hensen Insta-Dri, one stroke polish in Rapid Red'. I am really happy that I decided to stop biting you. I really only stopped because I realized that it is sicknast that I touch stuff all day long and then put my germy hands in my mouth. It wasn't because I wanted you to grow and look pretty. But you do look fab so good on ya, mate! (bet you didn't know I speak Australian...yep I do.)

Dear Costco,

I love that you have everything on the planet one would need to survive a nuclear holocaust. Like seriously, I could move into Costco and live there the rest of my life and have everything I could ever desire. I hate going to you because every single time I come to visit it is 'old people day'. Don't get me wrong I love me some old people, just not when they stop in the middle of the aisles and just stand there looking confused. Or when they are standing in a line to get a free taste of something that they will never ever buy, like hot pockets. However, you sell churros so I will not hold the old people thing against you. The end.

Dear Blackberry,

I don't have one of you nor do I want one. I do take some serious issue with the fact that you have used some crappy cover of a Beatles song in your new commercial. The Beatles rule the musical universe...no one should ever cover them (unless you are in the movie 'Across the Universe'...then you will be forgiven because that movie is amazing!)That is blasphemy and you should never ever do it again. Thank you.

Dear Bill O'Reilly,

Shut up. Thank you.

Dear Skin Cream I Cannot Remember The Name Of,

I had never heard of your brand before but I spotted you while I was dodging old people in Costco and I realized you have the worst ad slogan I have ever seen. Writing, 'Do you have a turkey neck?' on a skin cream for women is just plain crazy. Even if I had a turkey neck I would never buy a product that said it would get rid of it because that would be mortifying. Hire some better advertisers.

Dear Glee,

In between studying for my killer bio psych exam and working on my senior seminar term paper I will be watching you. I feel very left out when everyone talks about this fabulous show because I have yet to view you. Which, if you know me, you know it is pure insanity that I am not watching...because I love musicals more than any gay man alive. Witness.

Dear Woman Who Cut Me Off Today,

You made me very angry. It would be nice if you didn't pull out in front of someone who is going 55 mph and then drive slower than a snail slithers (or whatever snails do). It would also be nice if you didn't flip me off when I honked because you almost made my car smash into yours. I also wish that I wouldn't have gone into a rage blackout (holla Summer from the O.C.) and passed you and flipped you off while your child (that I did NOT see ahead of time) was in the passenger seat. I laughed my booty off when I read the, "Teach Peace" sticker you had on your back window when you re-passed me, and then continued to drive at 10 mph. Yes, I do know that I have road rage.

Dear Term Paper,

Sorry that I have been procrastinating and not working on you as much as I should have. Even though I have been procrastinating you must love that I forgot I was writing you last night and slipped into 'blog writing mode' and typed 'lamespice'. I have apparently been reading far too much BBL. I was half-tempted to leave it in there...because my professor would have loved it.

Dear Weekend,

I am very happy you are finally here. It has been a loooong week and I needed you severely. In between studying and homework catch-up I have some super secret plans to work out. Oh, you want some hints? Let's just say it maybe, sorta, kinda, might rhyme with 'liveaway'.

Does anyone want to send some mail with me? Join in, it's a party! Until next week blog world.

Oh, and everyone have a Happy Halloween!