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Showing posts with label pull my life together. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pull my life together. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

wise words wednesday {31.}...

I have this friend, her name is Ashton. I met her via Blog Land and she has become one of my best friends. In fact in a couple of weeks I am hopping on a plane to Las Vegas to spend the weekend with Ash, and our other bestie Lauren, who I also met through blogging! Anywho, Ashton is wise beyond her years and she gives some of the best advice. I jokingly call her 'Mama Ashton'. Some of her best advice is only a couple of words long, "Pull your life together." Thus inspiring this weeks wise words...


{31.} Wise Words...

This week I will attempt to pull it together. I also know that if I don't, I can sent a rant filled email to Ashton and Lauren and they will still love me through it.

xoxo

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

wise words wednesday {29.}...

I don't know about everyone else, but I realized something pretty darn important a little while ago. Life is hard. It isn't easy. It can be a straight up bitch sometimes. But, life is worth it. It is beautiful. It can be amazing if we allow it to be.



{29.} Wise Words...


The point? We are all going to make it. We may be a little damaged by the time we do, but we will be there. I for one, will be there with bells on.



xoxo

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

wise words wednesday {28.}...

I have being feeling super overwhelmed by life lately. I have gone from having a job that I love, to being really unhappy with my position as of now. I miss being a drug and alcohol counselor, plain and simple. I think that my new position at mental health is amazing and I am lucky to be on the ground floor of a great program, but I spend more time organizing and handling paperwork than getting to know my clients. The new program, The Health Care Collaborative, is starting tomorrow. It has been hectic, stressful, and has created an amazing amount of anxiety in my life. It has just been hard, and we are sort of playing it by ear. I am hoping everything runs as smoothly as possible...I shall be repeating this as my mantra all day long.


{28.} Wise Words...

Wish me luck my friends.

xoxo

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

happy monday...

I have basically disappeared off of the planet. The only people who see/hear from me, are the people who I live and work with. This is not ok. Work has been crazy busy, home life has been crazy busy, and I have not had a bum around lazy weekend in what seems like forever! What is my point? I miss things. I miss my real life friends, I miss my ibffs, I owe like one hundred emails, I have SO many things to blog about, and I am exhausted. I am hoping to pull my life together soon...we shall see. In the mean time, please go and check out the Made Made Shoppe for some fabulous new items!



Happy Monday all!


xoxo

Monday, April 25, 2011

30 post photo challenge {4.}...

I am slowly, very slowly, but surely getting through the 30 post photo challenge! I swear one day I will actually complete the challenge. Look for the final post in about a year at the rate I am going. Anyway, on we go with number four...


Post #4: A picture of your night...A Saturday night does NOT get any more legit than curling up in bed with People Magazine, some yummy fresh strawberries, and Season six of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. Ok...so yes. That is a pathetic Saturday night, but I couldn't care less. I am exhausted from the chaotic work week and that is just how I roll. I know your all jealous.


What did all of YOUR Saturday nights consist of? Anything that can top mine?


xoxo

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

wise words wednesday {26.}...

I really love these wise words posts. They normally turn out to be some of my favorites. I enjoy looking up all the quotes, and getting inspired by them. I find it funny that no matter what my issue of the week is, I can always find a quote that relates to it. Most of the time those quotes make me feel a bit better.

Here is the deal folks, it is time for me to get real. I was doing really well in the watching what I eat/working out at least three times a week routine for awhile. Then I slowly stopped working out, thinking that if I stuck to eating healthy it would all be a-okay. Then I started to go back to my crappy eating, and now I just feel gross and fat (so not a ploy for y'all to tell me I am beautiful. seriously). To sum it all up I am not happy with who I am, or what I look like. Instead of complaining about it I want to empower myself. I want to make good eating choices, while not depriving myself. I want to workout and enjoy the way it makes me feel. I want to try on jeans and just once look in the mirror and say, 'Damn. I look good.' I want to feel beautiful on the inside, and on the outside. Basically I want everything this quote is about...


{26.} Wise Words...
Is happy the goal? Of course it is. Is confidence the goal? You bet your ass it is. Is skinny the goal? Nope. While being a skinny Minnie would be fabulous, I just want to be healthy. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see. Not for anyone else, but just for myself. So, here goes another attempt. Wish me luck friends!
xoxo

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

wise words wednesday {25.}...

I had a perfect lazy weekend. I didn't really do much at all, I did laundry, I made some headbands for the Mama Made Shoppe, and I watched some movies with my mama. It was actually quite lovely. I finally watched, 'Love & Other Drugs' it was amazingly beautiful, and not only because Jake G is naked throughout the entire flick. If you haven't watched this movie go watch it now, also don't read this because it is a recap of one of the last scenes in the movie. This scene touched me in a lot of ways. Mainly in how much I related to both of the characters. I have been known to be very guarded in relationships. I don't let a lot of people in to really see me. I don't let myself need other people, or at least I try not to. Which is why this scene really got to me...

{25.} Wise Words...
Jamie
- I am full of shit, okay? No, I'm knowingly full of shit. Because...because...I have...I have never cared about anybody or anything, in my entire life. And the thing is that everybody just kind of accepted that. Like, "That's just Jamie!" And then you...Jesus. You. You. You didn't see me that way. I have never known anyone who actually believed that I was enough. Until I met you. And then you made me believe it, too. So, unfortunately, I need you. And you need me.

Maggie- No, I don't.

Jamie- Yes, you do.

Maggie -No, I don't.

Jamie- Yes, you do.

Maggie- Stop it. Stop saying that.

Jamie- You need someone to take care of you.

Maggie- No, I don't.

Jamie- Everybody does.

Maggie- (sobbing) I'm going to need you more than you need me.

Jamie- That's ok.

Maggie- No, it's not! It isn't fair. I have places to go.

Jamie- You'll go there. I just may have to carry you.

Maggie- I can't ask you to do that.

Jamie- You didn't. Hey, let's just say in some alternate universe there is a couple just like us. Only she's healthy and he's perfect. And their world is about how much money that they're gonna spend on vacation, or who's in a bad mood that day, or whether they feel guilty about having a cleaning lady.
I don't want to be those people. I want us. You. This.

This scene had be bawling. It was so well acted, and so heartfelt. It also really made me think...is it so bad to *let* yourself need someone? No, I don't have the answer...but I am currently looking for it.

xoxo

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

wise words wednesday {20.}...

I have been a total Debbie Downer when it comes to my life as of late. I am not so happy at my new job. I am missing my old coworkers a lot. I hate the new office building I am in, because it is SO uptight and full of the big bosses. I have an assistant who is extremely annoying. My supervisor is a big BIG boss and is hard to work for/with. I haven't had very much client contact since I started at Mental Health. I am having to present a huge presentation about what I have been working on thus far with the grant money. It is basically a job that is stressing me out, and making me semi-miserable. It makes me feel inadequate...and like, 'What the hell am I, of all people, doing in a room full of super important people?'

Plus, I have missed a few days of work last week because I have been so sick. You know? The whole pneumonia/bronchitis/double ear infection/sinus infection thing. Basically, I feel like I am in over my head and that they think I am so much more awesome and skilled then I really am. This feeling of inadequacy is helped along by the fact that I have some very bitter new coworkers who have been with the department for years longer than I have, and who would have killed for this opportunity. They are not so thrilled with me. But all I have to say to those people, and to myself is this...

{20.} Wise Words...
What now biatches?!

So I may not be 100% happy at my new job, but I will learn to love it. Even though I miss my old coworkers I still get to see them at least a couple of times a week. So I work in the office with the BIG bosses...it is just more time for me to do some networking and get to know those people well. Sure my assistant is annoying, but I am only 25 years old and I actually have MY own assistant. That is pretty badass. I may not be seeing clients all day long anymore, but I am getting a program together that will enable me to do so. I am not inadequate. If I am in a room full of these big important people, then there is a reason I am there. Maybe I do deserve it. Yes, I have been super sick (a lot probably due to stress) but I am on heavy duty steroids and antibiotics so I will get better. Lastly, to those coworkers who are not happy for this great opportunity I have, well they can basically suck it. Hopefully, they will climb down from their high horses and deal with this like adults.

This job is an amazing learning experience. I am making excellent contacts and getting killer letter of recommendations from a lot of people. I am in charge of a huge project we are undertaking and this will look amazing on any and all future resumes. I will start being more positive. I will kill it at this new job.

Just watch me.

xoxo

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

wise words wednesday {19.}...

I finally feel like I am getting back in the regular blogging groove. This makes me happy, because I truly do love this little blog of mine. It is a good outlet, and it helps me keep in touch with the many ibffs I have made since I started blogging. You all are awesome by the way. Now it is time for a new 'Wise Words Wednesday' post. These can be some of my very favorite posts. I adore this quote...and I honestly don't think that it needs any explanation at all.

{19.} Wise Words...


I think in 2011 I am going to really try to remember this quote. My new motto? No regrets. I am just going to enjoy living! Here is to another amazing year.


xoxo

Friday, January 7, 2011

week in review {1.}...

I honestly do not think I have EVER been so excited to see it be Friday! This week was bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s. So, I am not sure if I have shared on my blog that I have a new job. Yep...another one. Let me break it down for y'all. In July I nabbed a super great job working for the county as a Substance Abuse Counselor. I loved that job. I mean I loved it with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. It was a field I never really considered entering, especially working in a treatment court program, but it was an amazing opportunity and I learned so much during the six months I worked for Drug & Alcohol Services. However, in December I was encouraged *cough* forced *cough* to apply for a position that was open in Mental Health Services. How it works with the county is we have the entire Health Services Agency, many departments fall under that category. Mental Health Services and Drug & Alcohol Services are combined under the umbrella of Behavioral Health (even though we share a building it is two totally different departments). Anywho, I was basically stolen from my happy D&A home and moved over to Mental Health. I was NOT happy about that little situation.

Basically because I have OCD organization skills and I work super hard at my job, they wanted me in Mental Health in order to be on the ground floor of developing a pilot project for how smaller counties in California will be handling health care reform when it comes into play in 2014. Hi. I am SO not qualified to be in charge of something this HUGE. I mean...I don't think I can stress how big of a deal this project, and the grant that is paying for it, is. I don't think I want to even try because just thinking about it makes me get gray hairs and frown lines. Yikes. Am I overwhelmed? Yuuup. Is is a stellar opportunity? Hells-to-the-yeah.

Okay, so moving on from complaining. It is a great job. I am going to learn so much. It is going to look killer on an all future resumes. I am trying really hard to be positive about the situation. I miss my old job, and coworkers, but I still see them when I am in the other office building and my new coworkers are pretty alright people. Plus, I really went to school to be in the mental health field anyhow.

So last week my new supervisor set me up with a shadow schedule. She wants me to see EVERYTHING that Mental Health does, so that I can have a full grasp of what the services are, how they are administered, how/if they need to be changed, and what else needs to be added.

Since I have already written a freaking novel (sorry guys, I understand if you don't read all of this) I will just give you the highlights of my first week as a employee at Mental Health Services.

{Monday}: I was bitter this entire day. My main beef was that I was moved to a different office building. We have two main buildings for Behavioral Health, the O-town building (my former home base) and the W-town building (which is so stressful and uptight and where the BIG time bosses work). Guess which is my new home base? Yep...the uptight one. Awesome. I spent the entire eight hours of my day talking to our department head, and reading a 168 page grant. Kill me now folks...

{Tuesday}: Tuesday was SUCH an improvement from Monday. I got to shadow one of our clinicians, who is amazing. She is about 28 and shares my love of all things designer...we were basically pals from the moment we started talking purses. I got to shadow Steph throughout her day. We went out in the field, and I went on some client home visits with her, I met some very interesting people. We had super delish turkey burgers for lunch, took some crisis calls, chilled at the hospital with a guy who was in crisis, then met with a 6 year old little boy whose mother called that he was in crisis. His mom brought him in and it was...whoa. I honestly don't think I have the words. He was a scary little kid. I am not going to go into too much detail, because of confidentiality laws, but holy crap I was scared this boy was going to hurt one of us in that room with him. It was very alarming.

{Wednesday}: Wednesday I had my appointment to sign up for health benefits, life insurance, union stuff, oh my! Then I scurried out of that appointment with the quickness so I could run off to the O-town office, and catch the end of our staff meeting. This meant I was in my old home base! I got to see my mentor Susan, and chat with her, she put my complaining ass in check, and then I was back to shadowing Steph again. We went to our drop in center, and I sat in on a 'Hope and Healing' group , it was a great group.

{Thursday}: Thursday was chill. I chatted with my boss, then headed to the O-town office to have group supervision with all the clinicians, case managers, and whatnot. It was great. Then I had one on one supervision with my direct supervisor...I love her so bad. She is awesome. I of course snuck over to see Susan and the DH Girls in my spare time. Susan and I grabbed lunch. Then I went to Juvenile Drug Court because I was shadowing Tania...it was great. I really enjoyed seeing the juvenile treatment court program, because it is so different than what I did with adults in treatment court.

{Friday}: Basically I spent my morning doing more shadowing, and that's it. Then I left the W-town office to go to O-town because my supervisor is LEGIT! She allowed me to take 3 1/2 hours in order to be at the DH Girls graduation. I was SO happy she said yes. I know I don't work on that side of things anymore, but I love those women and their children. I wanted to be there to honor them, and they told me that if I wasn't there they would hate me forever. It was an amazing, tear filled ceremony, Susan gave a great speech to them, and both graduates gave speeches that warmed my heart. I made a teeny tiny speech, just to let them know that I respect them and that I honor them for all their hard work. Then Susan goes and busts out a certificate to me for my dedication to the women of Discovery House. It was a total surprise, and so very sweet. Yes. I did cry if you were wondering.

Holy crap. I am so sorry I wrote so freaking much. I guess I just needed to vent/share a bit of what week one was like. I am thinking I may do this on Friday's if exciting things happen during my work days. I promise they will be WAY shorter than this one.

Here is to everyone having a very happy weekend! My plans? Sleep...and a ton of it.

xoxo

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

wise words wednesday {14.}...

Big Girl World kind of sucks. Working in behavioral health kind of sucks. Having a few coworkers who are morons kind of sucks. Having way too much dumped on my plate because others are incompetent, kind of sucks. Having a client who you bond with, and you see doing really well staying clean and sober, who then relapses and ends up getting their children taken away and back in jail kind of sucks. Saying goodbye to clients who I have grown to love, but have finished treatment kind of sucks. Bouncing from office to office kind of sucks. Having too much to do, and not being able to catch up kind of sucks. Not being able to control every little detail of the day kind of sucks.

{14.} Wise Words...
In Big Girl World I am getting excellent work experience, and beginning my career. Working in behavioral health has given me patience and a love for people that I did not have before. Having a coworker who has become my mentor is pretty much amazing. Having a lot put on my place by the department supervisor means that she is trusting me to work outside of my experience and that is awesome. Watching a client that is staying clean and sober, has regained custody of her three children, and is graduating our program to start an amazing new life is a blessing. Saying goodbye to these women makes me tear up, but because I love them and their children and I am so proud of the work they have done to get control of their lives back, they are happy tears. Bouncing from every office means I can hide from people I don't want to talk to, which rules. I will catch up on all of the stuff I am behind on. I have to release my controlling nature. I have to enact a motto we use daily in treatment for our clients. It is quick and simple.

I am powerless.

In treatment this is not an 'Oh I am SO helpless and can't do anything about it' thing. It is a 'I am my own person. I am responsible for myself. I am powerless over what others do, and what the world throws at me. I will just take things as they come' thing. Thus, I leave you with the ever so cheesy AA/NA line:

One day at a time.

Big Girl World is an amazing suckfest. Yes, I am full of contradictions.

xoxo

Monday, August 30, 2010

i need to pull my life together...

Whoa. I have been a sucktastic blogger lately. I hate that. I hate that I don't really have tons of time to blog it up, or to even do things to blog about like I use to do. Work is basically making me lame.

What am I going to do about this? Well in the words of my BFF Ashton, I am going to pull my effing life together. I am going to blog regularly, even if it is just a quick hiya to my blog pals. This isn't me forcing myself to blog (because I really do love it), it is just me trying to keep it interesting!

So...I have a lot to blog about throughout this week. Some posts will happen...some won't...but they will eventually be posted (and I am pretty sure no one will be THAT heartbroken if I miss a few days of blogging).

Oh, and do y'all remember the 3o Day Challenge I am doing? Well, it isn't going to be 3o days...it is going to be 30 posts...that happen when they happen.

I am also breaking the rules on this one because I have SO many crushes that to name just one would be blasphemy.

Day 2-Your Crush...

There.
Are.
No.
Words.

Well, except for AMEN!

xoxo